A Smile Like His
by Caroline Morrison
Summary: Nick Miller walked out on Jessica Day a week before their wedding, almost six years ago. Now an established author, Nick is back in Los Angeles and determined to make things right.
1. Chapter 1

Nick Miller buzzed the buzzer, trying to get into the loft. "Schmidt!? Winston?" He called. To his avail, no one answered. Nick swallowed hard. "Jess? Jessica?" He yelled at the upstairs window.

"She's at work." Outside Dave said, rolling out from underneath a pile of newspapers.

Nick's head snapped around. "Work. Work? Where does she work now?"

"Aren't you the angry man with the scrunchy face that used to live here?" Outside Dave said, opening a paper. "The Sentential? Who here gets the Sentential? This is LIBERAL TRASH! "

Nick crouched down, eye level with Dave. "Dave, focus. I really need to talk to Jess. Can you please tell me where she works at?"

Dave snarled his nose. "You threw a sandwich at me once."

"FIRST OFF YOU BARKED AT ME! ALSO, IT WAS PASTRAMI ON RYE! IT HAD SPICY MUSTARD AND EVERYTHING!" Nick yelled. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. "Look, Dave, if you tell me where Jess works now, I promise I'll bring you a sandwich. I won't throw this one at you. I'll hand it to you. In a bag. Please just tell me where does Jess work?"

Dave smiled. "She works at Clifford Street Elementary."

Nick jumped up. "Clifford street! Thank you!" He jumped into his car and peeled out.

"You owe me a sandwich!" Dave called after him.

…

Nick walked into the office, out of breath. According to google the school let out in five minutes, so he made it just in time. He walked into the office. He smiled as he approached the secretary. "Hello, I'm here to see Jessica Day?"

The secretary looked up from her computer. She was older, in her late fifties. She reminded him of the older women in Chicago, her hair styled in an outrageously teased bouffant, her nails talon like and fire truck red. "Do you have an appointment with Principal Day?"

Nick's eyes widened. "Principal Day?"

The secretary glanced suspiciously at him. "You asked for Jessica Day, right?"

Nick nodded. "Sorry, No, I don't have an appointment. I'm just an old friend who wanted to surprise her."

"She's with a parent right now, have a seat and I'll let her know when she comes out." She motioned to an empty chair across from her desk. She glanced at a little girl occupying the seat next to his. "Josie, your mom should be out pretty soon."

Nick sat down next to her. He glanced at the little girl, who was enthralled with a book. Her brunette locks hung straight down, the front clipped back in a tiny braid. She wore a pink and white gingham print dress with white leggings and pink ballet flats. "You don't look like a trouble maker. What's got you at the principal's office? " he asked.

The little girl glanced up from her book. She peered at him through her purple plastic frame glasses, her icy blue eyes baring into him. "My mom says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

Nick laughed. It did seem rather creepy for a grown man to be making small talk with a little girl who could be no older than five. "Your mom sounds like a smart lady. "

The little girl shook her head at him, and then turned back to her book.

Nick nervously tapped his foot, anxious to see Jess. The bell rang, and the hall outside the office began to fill with kids. The door behind the secretary opened, and Jess and another lady walked out. Jess smiled at the lady, and shook her hand. "Thanks for coming in Mrs. Greer. See you later." Nick's heart skipped a beat at the sound of her voice. She walked towards the secretary, a stack of files in her hand. "Cheryl can you schedule me. . . " Just then Jess's eyes met Nick's. She gasped, her hands losing grip on the files sending them crashing to the floor. Nick jumped up and started to help her gather her papers.

He glanced over at her, taking in the sight of her. She looked just as he remembered, her brunette bangs falling ever so softly into her big blue eyes, her body small and petite. "You look beautiful."

"What are you doing here?!" She hissed, crouching down to pick up the papers.

Her eyes flashed up at him, full of pain and anguish. A pang of guilt hit Nick. "I. . .I came to see you." He stammered.

Cheryl, the secretary, eyed the duo, immersed in their conversation.

Jess stood up, straightening her emerald colored skirt. "Cheryl, I'm going to talk to Mr. Miller in my office for a minute."

Cheryl drew in her breath. "THAT'S WHERE I KNOW YOU FROM! YOU'RE NICK MILLER! OF THE PEPPERWOOD CHRONICALS!"

Nick smiled and nodded appreciatively. "Yup, that's me."

Cheryl pressed her hands to her overly made face. "Oh, I just love your books! I can't believe you're here! Principal Day never told me she knew you!"

Jess gritted her teeth. "He's just an old friend. Nobody, really. Come on Nick, in my office." She pulled Nick into her office, slamming the door.

"You came to see me? YOU CAME TO SEE ME?!" Jess screeched, pacing back and forth in front of her desk.

Nick began to wring his hands together, nervously. He had anticipated that Jess might not take his homecoming very well. "Jess. . . Jess, I'm sorry."

Jess stuck a hand on her hip, trying to look strong even though salty tears burned at her eyes. "You're sorry? You left me Nick, A WEEK before our wedding, and all you can say is sorry?"

Nick sighed. "I can explain. . .I. . . "

Just then the office door opened. The little girl that had sat next to Nick ran in. Cheryl followed behind her , breathlessly. "I'm so sorry Principal Day, I tried to stop her. She's just too fast!"

Jess smiled at Cheryl, wiping away a stray tear. "It's ok."

The little girl ran to Jess, hugging her leg tight. "Mommy! Can we go now? Pleeeeeaaaaaassse? You told me we could go to the library."

The little girl's words hit Nick hard, knocking the breath out of him. His eyes darted between the little girl and Jess, back and forth. "mmmmm. . .mmm. . Mommy?" He spat.

Jess hugged the little girl back. "Nick, this is Josie. My daughter."

The little girl smiled up at him, and he now realized She was a miniature Jess, identical except for her smile. Her smile was crooked, upturning ever so slightly more on one side than the other. He knew that smile very well. Her smile was an exact copy of his.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick's eyes widened, as reality hit him. Josie was his daughter. He and Jess had created a life. Jess turned to Josie. "That's right! It's library day! If we go now, we can make story time!"

Josie cheered. "Yay!" She turned to Nick. "Mom, Mr. Miller can come. So you guys can finish your conversation. I know how Royce doesn't like his conversations interrupted."

Jess patted Josie's head. "No, that's ok, He was just leaving."

Nick snapped out of his trance. "Actually, I think I'm free." He pulled out his cell phone. He scrolled through his calendar, not paying any real attention to his schedule. "Yup, Nothing. I can go." He replied, much to Jess's dismay.

Jess rolled her eyes. "Did you drive here?"

"I'm parked right out front." Nick said, motioning to the window.

Jess winced, and looked out the window. "In the . . . bus lane? Is that you? That big red SUV?"

Nick peered out the window, to see his Toyota Highlander surrounded by big, yellow school buses.

"Aw man! How am I supposed to get out of there?"

Jess shook her head. "Just wait it out. They should be leaving soon."

"Mom, we can't wait, we'll miss story time!" Josie said, poking out her bottom lip. "Can't he just ride with us?" She looked up at Jess, with pleading eyes.

Jess sighed. "Come on."

…

Josie ran into the library's story room, to secure her a spot. Nick and Jess planted themselves against the wall. They hadn't said a word the whole ride over, Jess blaring the Frozen soundtrack so, they wouldn't speak. "So, were you ever going to tell me?" Nick said, eyeing Josie, who was sitting patiently on the carpet as the librarian began the story.

Jess side eyed him. "Tell you what?"

Nick cleared his throat. "Tell me that I had a daughter."

Jess's head flipped around. "When were you going to tell me why you left me?"

The mom in front of them turned around, giving them a dirty look.  
"Sorry!" They whispered in unison.

He lowered his voice "Ouch! Ok, ok, I deserved that. But I did leave you a note."

"A note? Nick you walked out on our relationship, a relationship that three months prior you were so secure in, that you asked me to marry you, but it's ok because you left a note? A note that didn't explain anything in my opinion."

"Jess, I'm sorry. I. . . " Nick glanced over at Josie. Every time he looked at the child, he saw more of himself. "Josie deserves to know that I'm her father."

"Look Miller, let's get one thing straight. Josie is MY daughter. I am responsible for her, I take care of her. She is my blood, sweat, and tears. You don't get to just waltz in here and get handed the father card. I will not let you hurt her the way you hurt me." Jess stood up, grabbing her purse, and stormed out of the story room.

Nick ran after her, struggling to keep up with her pace. He found Jess at the end of the hall, by the bathrooms.

"Wow you're a lot faster than I remember."

Jess wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I go jogging now. Every morning. With Royce."

"Who's Royce?" Nick asked, the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach assuring him he already knew the answer.

"He's my boyfriend." She sniffled.

 _My boyfriend_. Jess's words washed over him, furthering the pain in his stomach. "oh, you have a boyfriend. . ."

"We're not discussing it. You don't get to know about my life." She quipped.

Nick threw his hands up in the air. "No questions. I'm sorry Jess. I really am. It's just when I saw Josie today, all this guilt washed over me. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me. I woke up this morning not knowing that I had a daughter. That a piece of me was walking around here on this earth. I didn't get to sing to her while she was in your belly, I didn't see her first steps. I mean come on, I'm a father to a Kindergartner, and I've never been to a parent teacher conference."

"She's in first grade. She's educationally gifted." Jess said, wiping her eyes.

Nick smiled at her. "Yeah? Well she certainly did not get that from my side."

Jess giggled. "She does get a lot from you though. The other day she yelled at her oatmeal because it was too hot."

Just then the doors opened and people began to leave the story room.

"I better go get her." Jess said quietly, motioning to the room.

Nick nodded.

She fished a small piece of paper out of her purse and scribbled something on it. She handed it to Nick. "This is my address. You can come by after Josie goes to bed, and we can talk more."

Nick arched his eyebrow. "You don't live in the loft anymore?"

She laughed. "Would you want to raise a five-year-old in a house with Schmidt and Winston?"

…

Nick stared at the door. Not much had changed, but now every time he looked at the door, of 4D he saw the ghost of himself, walking out on his family that fateful night. The elevator dinged, awakening Nick from his thoughts. He swallowed hard. It was now or never. He knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" A familiar voice called.

"Cece? It's me. Nick."

The door flew open. "Nick Miller?" Cece stood in front of him, she looked a little older, but still as beautiful as ever.

Nick smiled. "In the flesh"

Cece's mouth gaped open. "Oh My God. Does Jess know you're. . ."

"I met her at the school earlier."

"Cece? Who's at the. . ." Schmidt called out, his words trailing off when he saw Nick standing at the door. "Well, well, well, it's the prodigal son!"

"Schmidt, don't be like that."

"Don't be like that? Don't be like that?" Schmidt said, his jaw tense, his hands curling into tight fists. "You just left! You didn't tell anyone! Then you show up here, and tell me, your 'best friend' , 'Don't be like that'. Nicholas, I. . . . I. . ." and with that he swung his fist, landing a punch square on Nick's jaw.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick swirled the ice around in his glass, and then held it to his jaw. "I'll tell you one thing Schmidty, you can certainly pack a punch."

The duo sat at the bar, drinks in hand. To an outsider they looked like two old friends catching up, when in reality six years of questions and hostility sat between them.

A bright glow entered Schmidt's cheeks as he downed the rest of his Manhattan. "You deserved it, showing up here six years later, acting like everything's fine." He gestured to Nick's blazer. I don't even recognize you, Is that tweed? Who do you think you are Dr. Who?"

"I know I screwed up. But I want to make this better. I missed you." Nick said, peeling the shell off a pistachio.

"I missed you too, but I'm not forgiving you. " Schmidt replied.

"Can I just ask you one thing?" Nick asked.

Schmidt propped his elbow up on the bar, resting his chin on his hand. "Go ahead and humor me Nicholas."

"Why didn't you tell me about Josie? I tried to contact you."

Schmidt swirled around on his stool, to face Nick. "You didn't just leave Jess, Nick. You left all of us. You left me, and Winston, and Cece. YOU LEFT ME! I was your best friend, and you just left without saying anything. You left me at the bar that night and all you said was "see you later". I know you didn't know Jess was pregnant, but you walked out on your daughter. You left Josie, just like my dad left me. At 3:47 a.m. when Josie Winston Day came screaming into the world, was her dad there? No, his best friend was and I promised that little baby l that I would do everything I could to protect her. That meant keeping her from you. You didn't want to be around, so why make you?"

Nick put his hand on Schmidt's shoulder. "It's not that I didn't want to be around!"

Schmidt pushed Nick's arm away. "You want to know why I didn't tell you? I didn't tell you that day you messaged me, because you didn't deserve to know about that sweet baby girl. She's a special little girl Nick, and you didn't deserve to know."

Nick sighed. "Schmidt. . . . I . . . I know I can't just keep saying sorry. I thought leaving would be the best thing for Jess. I was a screw up. . . I. . . "

Schmidt rolled his eyes. "It would be best for Jess? Nick, you broke her. It was awful. She spent the first three months of her pregnancy holed up in her bedroom. We all worked so hard to build her back up, to heal the giant hole you left. Sometimes I still wonder if she's ok. I'm going to be brutally honest with you. If you're lucky enough that Jess gives you a second chance to be in her life and personally, I'm hoping she doesn't, you better not screw it up. You better not screw it up because I'll be there making sure you don't get a third."

Schmidt's watch caught Nick's eye. "JESS! OH MY GOD SCHMIDT WHAT TIME IS IT!?"

"It's almost 11. Don't try to change the subject Nick. . . "

"I was supposed to meet Jess!" Nick opened his wallet and threw some bills down on the bar. "we'll talk later Schmidt! I promise!" He called as he ran out of the bar.

…

Jess scrolled through Pinterest aimlessly. She glanced at the clock at the bottom of the screen. 11 p.m. She sighed and slammed the laptop shut. She tried not to get her hopes up, but that spark, the energy that she felt when she saw him today, after all these years, it was still there. She shuffled into her bedroom, and climbed into bed. She glanced at her phone, her screensaver a picture of her, Josie, and Royce. "I don't need Nick Miller." She said to herself as she turned out the light.

She had no sooner closed her eyes, and someone began to knock. She grabbed her robe and threw it on as she navigated through the dark apartment.

" DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?" She shouted, praying that she didn't wake up Josie. She opened the door.

Nick stood in her doorway, an anxious look across his face.

"Go away." She replied.

Jess began to shut the door, but Nick stopped it with his hand. "Please, let's just talk about this."

Jess could smell the faint smell of bourbon. "Oh God Nick, are you drunk? You have a lot of nerve rolling in here late at night, drunk. I guess old habits die hard."

"Jess it's not like that! Jess, I was with Schmidt, he punched me . . . " Nick yelled.

Jess rolled her eyes. "Obviously not hard enough. You're going to wake up Josie. Go home Nick. Wherever that is." She slammed the door shut.

Nick pressed his back against the hall's wall, sinking slowly to the floor. He thought back to the day he left, Jess's words tonight had been hauntingly similar. He had shown up at the loft that night, after a few too many drinks. Jess was already on edge, Nick could tell the moment she opened the door that night. Salty tears had welled up in her eyes as she started to argue, but Nick had continued to press her, tired of everyone demanding responsibility and direction from him. His head was still in an alcohol induced fog when he penned that note, oh how he regretted that stupid note now. Nick sighed, placing his head in his hands. Had he made a mistake by coming back? Was it too late to salvage what could have been?


	4. Chapter 4

" Jess strolled through the mall, eyeing a scarf in the Anthropologie window.

"Don't you already have that scarf?" Cece said, smiling at Jess.

"Mom please? Please?" Josie said, eyeing the bookstore a few stores down from them.

Jess bit her lip. "Joze, I just bought you the first two books in the Stella Wu series, read those first."

"I read those already! Remember I was telling you how Stella solved the first-grade fiasco today at breakfast!"

"That's right I completely forgot!" Jess said, smacking her hand to her forehead. She had been in a fog, stuck in her memories since Nick had come back in town. Feeling guilty that she didn't remember the conversation she obliged. "Ok. But only one book!"

"Oh, thank you mommy!" Josie said, as she ran ahead.

As they entered the bookstore, the display caught Jess's eye.

"The Pepperwood Chronicles" the signage read, "book 4 out now!" A smiling picture of Nick adorned the sign.

"stupid Nick." Jess snorted, punching the sign, causing the stack of books behind it collapse.

'Sorry!" Jess called, Red cheeked and embarrassed.

Cece bent down to help her pick them up. "He's really got you messed up, doesn't he?"

"Can you believe him? I mean showing up all these years later, just when I got my life together, thinking he could just flash that Miller smile and we would all swoon."

Cece shook her head. "Schmidt's pretty conflicted. He's mad at Nick, but at the same time, he was his best friend for so long."

Jess stood up, fixing the sign. She stared at the picture of Nick. "I feel the same way. It's like I'm glad that he's alive, but mad that I had to worry if he was alive."

"Mommy! That's your friend! I didn't know he was famous!" Josie squealed, looking at the picture of Nick.

Jess grimaced. "Josie look! They have both book 3 and 4 of Stella Wu!" She prayed that the girl's short attention span would redirect her attention.

Josie ran over to Stella Wu display, much to Jess's relief.

"Your friend huh?" Cece smirked.

Jess watched Josie engrossed in the book display, out of earshot. "It's not like I could just be like "Hey Josie! Here's your father, who left me at the alter!"

Cece glanced over at Josie. "Are you going to tell her?"

Jess bit her lip. "I want to. I don't want her to go her whole life wondering but what if he leaves again? I don't think I could handle that again."

"Oh, there you guys are!" Schmidt called.

Cece took one look at his hands full of bags and groaned. "Oh Schmidt, you didn't. . . . "

Schmidt kissed her on the forehead. "you know it was the semi-annual sale and these are necessities!"

Hearing Schmidt's voice, Josie turned and ran to him. "Uncle Schmidt! Look its book 3 and 4!"

Schmidt bent down to her level. "This one looks good, but I don't think it can top the first-grade fiasco!" Just then the Pepperwood Chronicles display caught his eye. He rose to his feet slowly. He glared at the display. "Well, well, look who it is."

Jess snorted. "I punched it earlier."

"Yeah, well I punched him." Schmidt said, never turning away from the display.

"Hey Joze! Do you want those two books? Aunt Cece will buy them for you! Come on let's go to the register." Cece interjected, grabbing Josie's hand and leading her to the register.

Schmidt scowled. "The nerve of him coming back here! I just hate him! All this time I . . . "

"You missed him? It's ok Schmidt, as much as I don't want to say it, I did too." Jess said, rubbing Schmidt's shoulder.

"How are you handling it?"

Jess smiled. "I'm ok. I have Josie and Royce, and I'm working at my dream job. I'm in a good place. I can handle this."

Schmidt lowered his gaze to meet Jess's. "I just don't want him to hurt you again. The other night at the bar he tried to explain. . . "

"Wait. You were at the bar with him?" Jess said, pausing.

Schmidt nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry. If you don't want me to talk to him I won't."

Jess shook her head. "No. Honestly, I'm ok. If you want to talk to him you can. I give my blessing. He was such a big piece of your life. I know what it's like to have a piece of you missing. Like I said, even though I hate him, I missed him. "

Schmidt glanced at Josie and Cece, the little girl beaming as she approached them, bag in hand. "I guess he did give us Josie, after all."

…

"What kind of cut is that woman!?" Schmidt said, inspecting the potatoes Cece had just finished chopping.

Cece playfully brandished the knife at him. "Watch it St. Marie."

Schmidt kissed her softly. "Luckily, our dinner guest is only 5."

Just then there was a knock at the door. Schmidt kissed Cece again. "I'll get it. It's probably Jess dropping off Josie."

Cece looked at the clock. "She's early. She must be eager to get to Royyyyycccce." She playfully fluttered her eyelashes.

Schmidt opened the door. "Hey Jess you're," He paused, as it was Nick outside his door not Jess.

Nick smiled at him sheepishly. "Schmidt, I'm sorry. Please don't punch me, and please don't slam the door on me. I don't know how to make this better, I don't know how to get you to forgive me, but please Schmidt, please. . . "

Schmidt popped his hand onto his hip. "I'm listening. . . "

"Can I come in?" Nick asked, his eyes begging for forgiveness.

Schmidt sighed but opened the door, "I guess."

Nick walked in, taking in the old familiarity of the loft. The loft he walked out of six years ago. The furniture had changed, Schmidt clearly in charge of all the decorating now, but that was it.

"oh. . . hey Nick. . . " Cece said, looking like she'd just seen a ghost.

He smiled at her. "Hey."

Nick picked up a picture of Schmidt and Cece holding an infant Josie, her face scrunched and angry.

Schmidt laughed. "Jess hates that picture. She said Josie looks just like you."

Nick laughed, slightly unsettled that Jess hated anything to do with him. He sat the picture down. "Schmidt, I'm sorry. Leaving was a mistake. Not telling anyone was a mistake. I wish I could go back and fix it, but I can't."

Schmidt sighed. Cece walked up behind Schmidt and rubbed his shoulder. "go ahead and hug him you know you want to."

Nick opened his arms, and enveloped him in a hug. "I missed you Schmidty."

Schmidt leaned into his hug. "you've still got a lot of explaining to do, but I'm glad you're home."


	5. Chapter 5

The door bust open and Jess barged in, her arms full sleepover stuff. "Cece! I hope you like My Little . . ." her face fell as her eyes caught sight of Nick sitting on the couch.

Nick couldn't take his eyes off of Jess. Her red dress hugged her body, accentuating how much curvier she had become since having Josie, her décolletage framed perfectly by the dress's sweetheart neckline. Her dusky locks were pinned back on either side, curls cascading down her back. "You. . . you look stunning. " Nick croaked, his throat suddenly becoming dry.

Jess felt the blood rush to her cheeks. She turned to Cece. "What is _HE_ doing here?"

Cece took the blanket and pillow from Jess's hands. "He came over to talk to Schmidt."

Jess glared at Nick. "Maybe I'll just take Josie with me."

Josie stomped her foot. "I don't want to go to some boring restaurant with you and Royce. Uncle Schmidt made my favorite dinner, and its game night!"

Nick stood up, holding his hands up in surrender. "No, I'll leave. It's time for me to go anyway."

Schmidt looked up at Jess, confliction shining in his eyes.

Jess sighed. "No, you don't have to do that."

Nick shook his head. "it's ok. I don't want to ruin your plans."

Josie glared at Jess. "Mommy please? I want to stay!"

Jess groaned. "Come here Miller" she grunted as she pulled him into her old bedroom. She slammed the door.

The bedroom was now Schmidt's office, White and sterile. Nick sat down on the edge of his desk. "Jess I'll leave, it's no problem."

"Of course, you have no problem leaving." Jess snapped.

Nick drew in his breath, taken aback by the harshness of Jess's comment. "I understand why you don't want me to be around Josie."

Jess bit her lip, seeing the hurt enter Nick's eyes. "I'm going to let her stay."

Nick's face lit up, a crooked smile spread across his lips. "you are?" Nick jumped up, instinctively wrapped his arms around her, embracing her in a hug. Jess quickly recoiled, the feeling of his body pressed against hers making her stomach flutter.

"But there's rules ok? No telling her that you're her dad. Actually, don't mention anything about. . . us." She scoffed, her words brittle and dry.

Nick nodded, crushed by Jess's rejection. "of course."

Jess opened the door. "I mean it. I'm giving you this chance, don't screw it up."

…

Nick pushed his plate away, his pants snug around his waist. "Schmidt, you've upped your game. I don't think I've ever had chicken that good, and I ate at Gordon Ramsey's restaurant. "

Schmidt rolled his eyes. "That overrated hot head? Please, the man marinates his chicken breast for an hour. ONLY AN HOUR!" "

"game time!" Josie squealed, as Cece began to clear the dishes away.

"What game?" Nick asks, turning to face Josie. "Candy land? Maybe some Monopoly? Or is Monopoly too hard?"

Josie laughed at him. "Candy land? Monopoly? Those baby games?"

Nick arched his eyebrow, perplexed by Josie's words. "baby games? Those are baby games? Then what are we playing?"

Schmidt and Josie grinned at each other. "Poker" they said in unison.

Nick choked on his drink. "poker? You know how to play poker?"

Josie grinned. "Uncle Schmidt and Uncle Winston taught me."

"Where is Winston?" Nick asked.

Schmidt pulled out his phone and flashed Nick a picture of Winston and Aly, wrapped up in each other's arms, clad in wedding attire. "He's on his honeymoon."

"Winston is married? I missed Winston's wedding?!" Nick exclaimed.

Schmidt stuffed his phone back in his pocket. "I'm sorry we didn't feel the need to tell you, we thought you didn't like weddings, seeing as you ran away from yours."

"SCHMIDT!" Cece said, nodding towards Josie.

"Sorry" he apologized, instantly regretting his outburst.

"Are we playing or what?" Josie said, standing between Nick and Schmidt.

Nick cracked his knuckles. "deal me in."

…

"Are you feeling ok?" Royce said, watching Jess push her salmon around on the plate. "you've barely touched your food."

Jess stabbed a piece of squash with her fork, dragging it through the sauce on her plate, lost in her thoughts oblivious to Royce.

"Jess? Jessica?" Royce said, snapping his fingers to get her attention.

Jess flinched. "What?"

"are you feeling ok?" He asked again.

Jess sighed. She looked over at Royce, his honey brown eyes concerned. "Sorry? I'm just full."

Royce motioned to the server. "Well I hope you've saved room for dessert!"

The server brought out a monstrous cupcake, a lit sparkler stuck in the pillowy icing. Jess's eyes widened, and she placed her hand over her mouth. "Royce! What is this?"

"Happy eight-month anniversary!" He called.

Jess smiled. "Royce you shouldn't have!"

"Go ahead, try it. It's red velvet, your favorite." He looked on eagerly.

Jess bit into it, her tooth instantly biting down on something hard. "What the. . . " she pulled the metal object out of her mouth. She examined the circular object, gasping when she realized what it was.

Royce bent down in front of her, getting down on one knee. "Jessica Day, I know we haven't been together that long, but I'm a firm believer of when you know, you know. I love you and Josie so much. I couldn't imagine my life without my ladies." He wiped away from his eye. "Jess, will you marry me?"

Jess nodded and muttered a small "yes", salty tears stinging her eyes. She closed her eyes as Royce slipped on the ring, trying to shut out the thought of Nick.

…

"I can't believe she beat me!" Nick exclaimed, taking a swig of his beer. He looked over Josie, fast asleep on the couch, the My Little Pony movie blaring in the background.

Schmidt laughed. "She's a little prodigy, that one."

Nick smiled. "Jess has done a great job with her. She's just like her."

Schmidt swirled the last bit of his beer around in the bottle. "Not just like her. She's like you, a lot like you. I thought we were never going to get her potty trained. She's the most stubborn child I know. She told her preschool teacher that dinosaurs are just 'the man's' way trying to see how much they could make you believe."

Nick laughed. "The scientific evidence is lacking. . ."

"Seriously though Nick, I see a lot of you in her."

Nick watched Josie sleep, his heart longing for all the moments he had missed. "Thanks for taking care of her. Thanks for stepping up, and doing what I should have been doing. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving, thought I was taking care of Jess."

"Why would leaving Jess be the right thing to do?" Schmidt interjected.

"You don't know this but do you remember the day I left? At the tux place. . . "

The door suddenly burst open, Jess strolling in.

"Jess? Is everything ok?" Schmidt asked, surprised by her entrance.

Jess beamed, she was practically buzzing. "Where is Cece?!"

Nick stood up. "Jess. I'm glad you're here. There's something I want to say."

Just then, a man appeared behind Jess in the doorway. He was tall, with ebony hair cut close. His skin was bronzed, and his smile rivaled a toothpaste commercial smile.

Cece came out of the bedroom. "Jess? I thought I heard you." And that's when Nick saw it. The small circular band adorning her left ring finger.

"Surprise!" Jess called, displaying her hand.

Cece screamed. "Jess! Royce! You. . . you're engaged!?"

Schmidt shook Royce's hand. "Congrats man!"

Jess glanced over at Nick, his face sullen and down. She tried to walk over to him when Royce wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to her. "Champagne! We need champagne!" Cece cheered. As they walked into the kitchen, Jess spotted Nick, walking out the door. As he turned around to shut the door, Jess's eyes met his. "congrats" he mouthed, and then shut the door quietly.


	6. Chapter 6

"And Kaylie Coleman has these new shoes and they're so glittery and the toes have sequins on them, and. . . get this mom. . . the laces are ribbons!" Josie said, licking her ice cream cone.

Jess scooped up a spoonful of her ice cream. "Ribbons for laces huh? Do they make them in my size?"

Josie laughed, but soon turned her attention to the pier. "Mommy isn't that your friend? Nick?"

Jess's heart sank at just the mention of his name. She turned around, just in time to see Nick walking down the pier.

Jess scooped up her purse. "Come on Josie, let's go see if Mr. Darby has any new candles at the farmer's market."

"NICK!" Josie yelled, waving her hands up, sending melted chocolate ice cream droplets across the light blue cotton of her dress. Josie smiled at Jess. "I like him, he's funny."

Hearing his name, Nick spotted them and waved. He made his way over to their table outside the ice cream shop. "Hey guys!"

"Hi Nick!" Josie replied, smiling at him.

He bent down eye level with Josie. "Tell me the truth. Did you buy that ice cream with the money that you won kicking my butt at poker?"

Jess almost choked on her cookies and cream. "You bet money against Josie?"

Josie laughed. "No. Me and mommy always get ice cream on Saturdays. It's girl time."

"girl time huh?" Nick said, glancing at Jess.

Jess nodded. "Since she was a baby."

Nick smiled. "That's adorable." Jess couldn't help but blush.

Nick turned back to Josie. "So Josie are you going down to the water next? I missed the ocean, I'd love to go with you."

"Nick! Nick, no!" Jess hissed, but it was too late.

Panic spread across Josie's face. "The water?" She replied, swallowing hard.

Nick arched his eyebrow at Jess, instantly regretting his words. "What's wrong with the water?"

Jess shook her head. "Josie is afraid of the water."

Josie jumped up from the table, and ran down the pier, and onto the warm sand.

Jess stood up to go over to her when Nick held up his hand. "Let me."

Jess bit her lip, and began to object but Nick stopped her. "Please?"

Jess bowed, succeeding gracefully. "go ahead" she signed reluctantly.

Nick smiled, and walked down to Josie who was now sitting, gazing at the crystalline ocean. "Mind if I sit here?"

Josie glanced up at him, her sapphire eyes squinting against the afternoon sun. "Santa Monica beach is a public access beach, and does not belong to any one entity. No one can forbid you from sitting on the beach unless an event of national emergency."

Nick sat down next to her. "I'm going to pretend I understood what you just said." He glanced over at the little girl, his daughter. "Why are you scared of the water?"

"You don't mince words do you?" Josie replied, never taking her eyes of the waves.

Nick laughed. "You really are a child prodigy aren't you?"

Josie glanced over at him, tears welding in her eyes. "You know how I don't have a dad? My mom wouldn't tell me anything about him, so I assumed that must mean something bad happened to him. I compiled a list of statistics of things that could have happened to him. Did you know one in eighty three people die in boating accidents? If that wasn't scary enough, factor in bacteria and drowning deaths and I was almost certain the ocean killed him."

Josie's words stung, Nick hating himself for the grief he had bestowed on this sweet little girl.

Josie continued. "My mom told me that he didn't die, but by then, the ocean was too scary for me. I'm scared."

For a moment they just sat in silence, nothing but the sound of crashing waves between them.

Nick sighed, putting his hands together. "Josie, let me tell you about the time I thought I was dying."

Josie's eyes widened. "you thought you were dying?"

Nick nodded. "I had a lump on my neck, a growth."

Josie's eyes were glued to him. "Thyroid cancer?"

"you really need to stay away from the medical encyclopedias." Nick said, laughing. "but yeah, it could have been cancer. I had to wait twenty four hours for my results. That was the longest twenty four hours of my life. I was so scared."

"How did you get through it?" She asked, her voice a tiny whisper.

Nick smiled. "your mom."

"My mom?" Josie gasped.

"Your mom pushed me. She told me to take chances, to try new things. She encouraged me to jump into the water."

Josie looked confused. "jump in the water?"

Nick sighed. "I've never been great with words."

Josie laughed. "aren't you a writer?"

Nick let out a hearty chuckle. "You have a point. What I'm trying to say is, your mom told me to not be scared. No one knows how long they're going to be here, so they better make the most of it."

Josie looked out of the tumultuous ocean. "It's just so. . .big. "

Nick placed a hand on Josie's shoulder, the first time he had ever touched his daughter. "you just gotta jump in the water."

"Will you go with me?" Her eyes, clear and blue behind her frames, pleading with him.

Nick kicked off his shoes. "Of course." He unhooked his watch, and threw it and his wallet on his shoes.

He took Josie's tiny hand in his and they ran full force into the ocean, screaming the whole way.

…

The sun began to set, painting the beach a rich cherry tangerine hue. Nick sat next to Jess on the beach, watching Josie still happily splashing in the water. Nick glanced over at Jess, her face lit up with happiness. The sunset caught Jess's ring, sending a sparkle of rainbow light across his eyes. "So, engaged huh?" he asked.

Jess nervously Twisted the band on her finger. "He really is a good guy."

Nick laughed. "a little uptight if you ask me."

Jess glared at him. "He won't walk out on his promises."

Nick sighed, at a loss for words.

Jess turned her head, lowering her voice so Josie wouldn't hear. "Why'd you leave me Nick?"

Nick felt bile rising in his throat, a burning feeling rising in the pit of his stomach. He had known this question would be asked eventually. "Jess, you were everything I ever wanted. You were literally my dream girl. But you deserved better. So much better."

Jess rolled her eyes. "That's a load of crap Miller. Go figure you'd feed me a line."

"Jess you don't understand! Do you remember that night? Do you remember what you said to me when we were fighting?"

Jess shook her head.

Nick swallowed hard. "I do. I hear it every night, replaying over and over in my head. You said when you care about someone, you do what's best for them, even if it sucks for you. That really hit home for me. I cared so much for you, and I kept letting you down. At the tux place when Bob. . . you know what never mind that. Jess, I simply did not deserve you. "

Jess sat silently in the sand, staring out at the ocean, twirling her ring.

Nick took her petite hand in his. "I screwed up. I know I will never be lucky enough to have you again, but I want to be part of Josie's life. I'll play whatever role you want me to play, I just don't want to miss anything else. Forgive me?"

Jess took his hand and placed it on his knee. "I'm trying."


	7. Chapter 7

"Uncle Winston!" Josie yelled as she ran across the restaurant to the table where Winston, Aly, Cece, and Schmidt sat.

"She's too old to run like that" Royce whispered into Jess's ear.

"She's only five." Jess snapped back. "Aly! Winston! Marriage looks great on you!" She leaned in hugging the couple.

Winston fluttered his eyelashes. "The Caribbean was great. I mean look at this tan!"

Aly laughed. "I hear congratulations are in order for you two as well?"

Jess smiled and held out her hand. Royce chuckled. "yup! Finally tied her down!"

"Oh my God." Aly gasped.

Royce frowned. "It was a joke. . . I know that Jess is an independent. . "

"Is that. . . . Nick?" Winston muttered, his mouth opened wide in disbelief.

Jess turned around just in time to see Nick walking toward them, looking devilishly handsome in black suit pants, and a crisp black dress shirt.

"I hope you don't mind, I invited him out with us tonight." Schmidt stammered. "He's really trying to make amends."

Royce linked his fingers with Jess's. He leaned in close, whispering softly in Jess's ear. "Nick. . . . . as in Josie's. . . "

Jess gripped his hand tighter. "Yes. Shhhh. I'll explain later."

Nick approached the table. "Long time no see?" He said, as he fidgeted with the silver watch that adorned his wrist.

Winston cleared his throat. "Nicholas Miller."

"I know Winston. I really am sorry, for everything."

"You got a lot of nerve coming around here." His voice was loud, booming throughout the restaurant, causing patrons to stare.

Nick's eyes widened, embarrassed at Winston's outburst. "Can we talk, outside or something?"

Winston's voice grew louder. "Can we talk about how you abandoned your family? How you abandoned Jess?"

Josie looked up at Jess. "Mommy? Why does Uncle Winston not like Nick?" Her tiny words, slicing through the tension.

"Winston!" Jess hissed. "That's enough." She pulled him away from the table.

"I'm sorry Jess, but just the sight of him. . . he. . . "

"I know." She sighed. "but he's trying."

"He's trying? Oh, Jess honey, he's already got you back under his spell?" Winston's face was hot with anger.

Jess frowned. "It's not that."

"Do you not remember what it was like when he left? Because let me tell you, it was awful. The spark was gone out of those big blue eyes. You were a shell of a person. I didn't think you were ever going to be ok. You scared me Jess."

Jess sighed. "I've got to forgive him Winston. If not for myself, for Josie. I don't know why he left, but he's back. He's back, and honestly, he's trying. I don't want him to leave again. As much as it hurts to see him, it hurts more when he's gone. I. . . I finally feel whole again."

Winston hugged Jess. "I'm sorry."

Jess hugged him tight. "It's ok. Schmidt punched him."

Winston laughed. "Why didn't I think of that. "

He walked back to the table, and put his hand on Josie's shoulder. "I'm sorry Josie."

He glanced over at Jess. "I'm okay." she mouthed.

Winston swallowed hard, putting away his pride. He pulled out the chair next to his. "So, I hear Pepperwood finally made it to the best sellers?"

…

"Josie, you need to finish your pizza." Royce said, counting out the cash for their part of the bill. "Can't believe you ordered pizza at such a fine restaurant."

Josie's face scrunched up. "It's just the crust."

Royce rolled his eyes. "You're not going to finish your food, and then go home and want those sugary fruit snacks."

"I don't like the pizza bones either." Nick said, leaning towards Josie.

Josie giggled. "Pizza bones?"

Nick arranged the crust on her plate, to resemble a whole pizza. "See? It looks like the pizza's skeleton. Pizza bones."

Royce sighed. "Don't teach her to play with her food."

Nick began to say something, but bit his tongue. He was Josie's father, biologically, but this was the man that Jess had chosen to be Josie's dad.

Jess's eyes locked with Nick's. Her heart beat erratically, a spark of energy coursing through her body. "Sorry." Nick mumbled.

Jess scooted out her chair. "We should be getting home. It's almost Josie's bed time."

"see you later." Nick replied, a familiar ache creeping into his chest.

"Bye!" Jess called, as she linked hands with Royce and walked out, Josie next to her.

Nick's eyes were fixed on Jess, taking in the familiar silhouette of her body. Sure, she's filled out a little more, but it only made her better. the thin material of her dress curved more at her hips, and all-night Nick had imagined his hands grasping them tight, and pulling her close to him. Her hair was in a high ponytail, showcasing the creamy white skin at the base of her neck. She had always loved when he kissed her neck, and just the thought sent shivers down his spine.

"Hello. . . Earth to Nick. " Winston said, snapping his fingers.

Nick broke away from the sight of Jess leaving, and turned back to the conversation. "Sorry. What?"

"First things first, Forget it. I mean it. Leave her alone, she's happy now." Winston quipped.

Nick was taken aback by Winston's words. "I. . . I didn't plan. . . "

"I saw the way you looked at her, It's the same way she looked at you."

Nick's heart fluttered at the mention of Jess still having feelings for him. "I promise you, I'm not here to mess with her. She's moved on, I need to accept that."

Winston nodded. "Exactly. I forgive you, and I'm all for second chances, but you don't get a second chance with Jess. "

"I won't hurt her. . . . again."

Winston smiled. "as long as we're on the same page."

Nick stood up. "I should probably go home on that note."

"Where is home now?" Schmidt asked.

"I'm at the Westin right now. They've let me pay by the week." Nick replied.

"That's absurd. The Westin is four stars at best. We have an extra room at the loft." Schmidt said.

Cece choked on her sip of wine, surprised at Schmidt's generosity.

Nick shook his head. "I'm alright. Clean sheets and continental breakfast."

Schmidt tossed his napkin aside. "Nonsense. Come stay with us. We don't mind."

Cece nodded. "you're more than welcome."

Nick smiled, "Yeah? I'd like that."

…

The car ride home was silent and cold. As soon as Josie was tucked into bed, all that words Royce had been holding back, came flooding out. "When were you going to tell me that _HE_ was back in town?"

Jess sighed. She slipped on her pajama top. "I was going to tell you. I just needed to find a good time."

"Is there ever a good time to tell your fiancé that the long-lost father of your child is back in town?"

"There's nothing there, Royce. No need to get upset." Jess snapped.

Royce rolled his eyes. "Him being back is trouble Jessica, and you know it. You still talk about him in your sleep! If he's in your dreams, what will it mean now that he's here in the flesh?"

Jess wrapped her arms around Royce's neck. "He hurt me Royce. When I talk about him in my sleep, those aren't dreams, those are nightmares. I promise you, it's nothing."

Royce slipped his arms around Jess's tiny waist. "I'm just overprotective I guess. You and Josie are the best things to ever happen to me. I don't want to lose you."

Jess stood up on her tippy toes and kissed him. "I'm holding on too tight to you for that to happen."

"Let's go to bed." Royce said, kissing her softly.

Jess crawled into bed, and kissed Royce. "Goodnight babe."

"Goodnight." He said and turned out the light. Jess turned over, dread filling her body. It was no surprise she mentioned Nick in her sleep, because she dreamed of him quite often. Dreams of Nick, his arms around her waist, his lips on her neck. Dreams so vivid, she could feel the prickly hairs of his beard, rough against her neck, the beat of his heart against hers. She knew he was trouble. She curled up next to Royce, and laid there, fighting off thoughts of Nick, until sleep overcame her.


	8. Chapter 8

"Cece? Schmidt?" Jess called, as she swung open the door to the loft.

Nick walked out of the bedroom, clad only in plaid pajama pants. "Jess?"

Jess, surprised to see Nick, jumped at his voice. "Nick? What are you doing here?" She eyed his abs, tanned and more chiseled than the last time she had seen them.

Nick scratched his ear. "I kind of live here now."

"YOU LIVE HERE?!" Jess shouted.

"Mommy you're going to be late!" Josie chirped.

"That's right!" Jess screeched, panic in her eyes. "Nick, where is Cece or Schmidt?"

"Cece had a meeting with a magazine and Schmidt was pitching a big presentation." Nick replied, pulling on a t shirt. "Josie, where are your glasses?"

"I fell asleep reading, and I must have rolled over on them or something." She held up a ziplock baggie containing her purple frames, snapped in half.

"That's why we're here." Jess said, sounding deflated. "The eye doctor can get her in at nine, but I have a meeting with the school board that I can't miss, and Royce is already at work, so I needed Schmidt or Cece to take her. Maybe we can get in later, after my meeting."

"I can't see! How am I supposed to go to school?" Josie whined.

Nick took a deep breath. "I can take her."

Jess's eyes widened. "I don't know Nick that's not a . . . "

Nick put his hand on Jess's shoulder. "Jess, I can do this. Trust me."

Jess bit her lip, but obliged. "Ok but only because I'm in a tight spot." Nick's face lit up, which caused Jess's heart to flutter. "She goes to Doctor. . . "

"Doctor Pearson. On sixth." Nick finished the sentence for her. "The same doctor you always went to."

Jess's smile spread across her face. "Yes, that's right."

Nick smiled. "Don't worry, I've got it under control."

Jess kissed Josie on the head. "Be good baby." She wrapped her arms around Nick, squeezing him tight. Nick surprised by her embrace, hugged her back, his arms fitting around her body like a well-worn sweater. "thank you." Jess murmured softly.

…

"hop in" Nick said, opening the passenger door for Josie.

"Nicholas, do you know how deadly air bags are for someone my age?! I can't sit in the front seat!" Josie replied, opening the back door.

"air bags, of course." Nick muttered.

"So, what book were you reading last night?" Nick asked, trying to fill the awkward silence.

Josie stared out of the window. "Stella Wu."

"I don't know that book. What's it about?" He replied.

Josie's answer was short again. "a detective."

"Wonder if she's published by my publisher?" He ventured.

Josie remained silently, gazing out the window.

"want some music?"

"Sure." She muttered.

Nick flipped on the radio, Nicki Minaj filling the SUV. _"I'm high as hell, only took half a pill. . . "_

"Maybe not that." Nick announced, quickly turning the station.

An old Elvis song was on. _". . . A poor little baby child is born, In the ghetto. . . "_

 _". . . In the ghetto. . . "_ Josie chimed in. " _Cause_ _if there is one thing, she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed. . . "_

Surprised the little girl knew such an old song, Nick looked at her in the rear view mirror. "You know Elvis? My dad loved Elvis."

"My grandpa Walt loved Elvis too."

Nick veered over into the other lane, shocked by Josie's words. A car honked, and he quickly swerved back into his lane. "Your grandpa Walt?"

"Yeah, he was my dad's dad. I never met him, but my mom told me a lot about him. I also have a grandma named Bonnie. She always packed my mom cheese puffs for the flight home, when they visited her house. She lives in Chicago. That's where my dad was from. We were supposed to go to Chicago on vacation, but mom met Royce and he took us to D.C. instead."

Nick was elated. Jess had told Josie about his family. As bad as he had hurt her, she still told their daughter about his parents, his hometown. "Chicago is amazing. Giordano's has the best deep dish pizza you ever had. It's as big as your head, and the el train, that's an experience in itself. "

Josie's smile spread across her face. "Maybe we can go sometime!"

Thoughts flashed through Nick's head. He and Jess going back to his childhood home, Introducing Josie to his mother. Taking Josie to her first Cubs game and buying her a Chicago style hot dog, just like his dad did. He and Jess going to the top of Willis tower, taking in the skyline in each others arms.

"Maybe we can." Nick said, smiling, a smile just like hers.

...

"Thanks for taking her today. I really appreciate it." Jess said, squeezing some honey into her tea. "She would not stop talking about you."

Nick laughed. "What can I say? Ladies love me."

Jess rolled her eyes. " There's that Miller confidence! Seriously though, thank you."

Nick smiled at Jess. "Thanks for telling her about my family."

Jess choked on her sip of tea. "She talked to you about them?"

Nick stammered. "Don't worry, I didn't say anything . . . about me. . .and . . ."

Jess nodded. "Of course."

"You didn't have to do that. I walked out on you, and you still told her good things about me, you told her about my family."

"They're her family too."

Nick smiled, tears welding up under his eyelids. "Thank you."

Jess smiled back at him. "you're welcome."

"She's something else, isn't she?" Nick glanced up, looking at a picture framed above Jess's couch of Josie, a smashed birthday cake in front of her.

"She was the best baby, so easy going." Jess beamed.

Nick sighed. "I should have been there."

Jess stood up. "Hold on, Let me something."

She returned from her bedroom, a photo album tucked under her arm. She sat down next to Nick, so close he could smell her old familiar scent, delicate vanilla with notes of spicy cinnamon. He drank it in, becoming intoxicated with the memories associated with it.

She flipped open the photo album. "This is Josie, about two minutes old."

Nick laughed. "She looks just like me. . . "

"red and angry? Yup just like you." Jess flipped to another page. "Josie walked at 8 months. Like a full-on sprint. I should have known then she was a genius then." They sat for hours, Nick soaking in the memories that he had walked out on. Jess holding up her hands to Josie, Josie's chubby infant legs wobbly making their way over to Jess. A very recent picture of Josie, a gap where her front tooth was supposed to be. Nick loved looking at them, wishing with every fiber of his being that he had been there. "I've missed so much."

Jess softly placed her hand on his, and he squeezed it lightly. His hands were different than Royce's, comforting and warm. She smiled. "Just don't miss any more."


	9. Chapter 9

"Principal Day!" A middle age woman dressed in a pair of lululemon leggings and a Clifford Street PTA t shirt yelled, a chubby baby on her hip.

Jess glanced into the bleachers of the auditorium and waved. She leaned into Nick. "Crap. That's Savannah Haun."

Nick glanced at her. "Savannah Haun?"

"She's the president of the PTA. She has 5 kids, her son Kash is in love with Josie, and oh look she's coming over here." Jess started to walk toward the bleachers.

"Wait. In love with Josie? She's too young for boys! " Nick called after her, suddenly feeling protective of Josie.

"Hi Savannah!" Jess said, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"OH, Principal Day I'm so glad I ran into you! The PTA is in a disagreement about the Spring Fling. . "

Jess shook her head and smiled sheepishly. "No no, none of that! I'm not 'Principal Day' today, I'm here as 'Josie's mom'. No school stuff, just here to cheer on my girl in the spelling bee!"

Savannah hoisted the baby higher on her hip. "Well then, speaking as parents, how about that Mrs. Norman? I really wish you would just transfer Kash to Ms. Gretsky's class. She's so much nicer, and besides, he would just love to be in there with little Josie."

Sensing Jess's tension, Nick cut in. "Hey Jess, we better go get our seats. They're filling up quick."

Savannah's eyes widened. "Well hello! Who is this?"

Nick smiled. "Nick Miller. An old friend of Principal Days."

Savannah's face froze, her mouth a perfect "O". She began to jump up and down, the poor baby bouncing with her. "Nick Miller? As in 'The Pepperwood Chronicles' Nick Miller? Oh my Gosh! Oh, I can't believe it! I love your book!" She handed Jess the slobbering infant and began to dig through her diaper bag. "I have my copy in Kaiser's diaper bag!"

Nick laughed. "I believe you! Glad you're a fan, but if you don't mind, I came to see Josie in the spelling bee."

Savannah blushed. "Why of course! So sorry, got a little fan girlish there." She reached for baby Kaiser. "I must say, you're even more handsome in person. Jessica, I'm surprised Royce leaves you alone with him! If I were Royce I'd be jealous!"

"Jealous? Of what?" Royce's smooth voice asked.

They turned around to see Royce standing there. He gave Jess a quick peck on the cheek. "you're not seated yet? I need to get back in time for my three thirty."

Jess glanced at Nick, totally flustered. Nick cleared his throat. "We were just going."

Jess trekked up the bleachers to a spot in the middle, Royce between them.

The lights dimmed, and the children took the stage. Josie was in the first row, waving furiously. Nick and Jess waved back, Royce too preoccupied with his phone to acknowledge her.

"Do you have to do that right now?" Jess asked.

Royce placed the phone back in his jacket pocket. "You dragged me away from work. Not all of us get to finger paint and sing the wheels on the bus all day."

Nick's ears grew hot with anger, but he bit his tongue. This was what Jess had chosen, for some reason she loved this arrogant douche.

 _"leave her alone. She's happy now."_ Winston's words danced in his head.

He turned his attention to Josie, who was now approaching the microphone, and resisted the urge to punch Royce.

…

Jess jumped up, her hands clapping wildly. "She won!"

Nick whistled, a feeling of overwhelming pride blanketing him. "She's five years old and can spell a word I can barely say!"

Royce stood up. "I've got to go."

Jess beamed, a smile stretched across her face from ear to ear. Nothing could take away how happy she was, not even Royce's foul mood. "Ok. See you later tonight?"

He kissed her softly. "of course."

Jess turned to Nick. "I'm going to go get Josie, meet me at the car ok?"

Nick nodded, and Jess sprinted off. He started to walk down the bleachers when someone placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Royce behind him. "Mind if we talk?"

The cool parking lot air greeted them as they pushed through the auditorium's large metal doors.

"Look Nicholas, I know who you are. I know what you and Jessica once were. you don't like me, and quite frankly I'm not that fond of you Either." Royce scoffed.

Nick laughed. "Well aren't you friendly."

Royce rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for your childish games. I don't know why you've decided to come back around, but it can't be good. Jessica has moved on. She's with me now, and that's how it will continue to be. Understand?"

Nick clenched his fist, seething with anger. "Are you afraid of me and Jess?"

Royce laughed. "Never said I was afraid. For some reason, Jessica wants you around. All I'm saying is be a little less around, if you catch my drift."

His laughter only fueled Nick's hatred.

"you're going to catch more than a drift in a minute. Listen up. Jessica Day was the best thing to ever happen to me. For some reason she wants YOU around. All I'm saying is, you better man up and treat both her and Josie right like they deserve. If I catch even the slightest inkling of a crack in your relationship, you better believe I'm going to slide in there and try to win her back." Nick spat, mere inches away from Royce's face.

"There you are! Do you want to. . . Is everything alright?" Jess asked, walking towards them hand in hand with Josie.

Royce chuckled, sending the hair on Nick's arm standing on edge. "Everything's fine dear. Just a little heated discussion."

Jess blinked, utterly confused. "Okay then. . . I know you have to get back to work but Nick, would you like to go with Josie and I for some celebratory ice cream?"

Nick glanced at Royce, and smiled his teeth clenched and his jaw tight. "I would love to Jess."


	10. Chapter 10

The sun was setting, the bright hues of magenta and burnt apricot giving way to the soft glow of the stars. "Well, our little champ is out like a light! I guess today was pretty busy." Jess said, climbing out her bedroom window to join Nick on the fire escape. Her wording "our" sent a coy smile across Nick's lips, Happy that he and Jess shared something so special. Jess handed Nick a beer.

He twisted it open and took a long swig, the rich malt cool and refreshing. "Since when are you a beer girl?'

She chuckled. "Don't worry, I still enjoy my Temple Grandin's. Royce and I took a micro-brewery tour, and I fell in love with this ale." She hoisted her bottle in the air as if to say "cheers".

Royce's name made Nick's nose upturn. He glanced at the sky. "This really is a nice place you got."

Jess smiled. "Yeah I love it. I'm going to miss it when we move."

Nick choked on his beer. "You're moving?"

"Just to Royce's townhouse. It's bigger. . . better. . . "

Nick shook his head. "If I were Royce, I'd move in here in a heartbeat. It's really is nice."

Jess blushed. "It's not as good as the loft."

"There's no crappy Nick Miller fixes here." Nick said, playfully slugging her on the shoulder. "Speaking of the loft, how did Schmidt end up being the one who stayed there?"

"It got a little crowded." Jess swirled the beer around in its bottle, deep in thought. "Josie and I lived there for a while. They helped me a lot when Josie was first born."

Jess's words hit deep in Nick's gut, stealing the breath from his body. "Jess," He croaked, "I wish I would have stayed."

Jess turned away from him, clenching her eyes tight so no tears could escape. She took a deep breath and turned back around. "I don't know why you left, but me and Josie, we're ok. It's ok."

Nick placed his hand on Jess's, contact with her raising his pulse. "It's not."

Jess looked down at Nick's hand, cupping her hand, there fingers falling into old familiar patterns. Their eyes met, saying what their words could not. Nick grasped her chin gently, and pulled her in, bringing her lips to his. His mouth explored hers eagerly, like a weary traveler finally home from a long trip. He slipped his hands through her silky mane, twirling his fingers around handfuls of her brunette strands.

Jess pushed away suddenly, her breath ragged, her cheeks burning crimson red. "What are you doing!?"

Nick shifted his gaze to the ground, not wanting to deal with the harsh reality of his actions.

"I'm engaged!' Jess spat, her face twisted in a shape of hurt and confusion.

Nick couldn't take it anymore, the words spilling out of his mouth. "What do you see in him?!"

Jess stood up, crossing her arms defensively in front of her. "What do I see in him?"

Nick stood up, mere inches away from Jess on the small fire escape. "Jess, he's a douche! Not ha-ha funny douche like Schmidt, but a royal Class A DOUCHE! He's an arrogant, cynical, domineering. . . "

"Don't you dictionary at me Miller!" Jess snapped. "You have no right to say that about him! You don't even know him!"

Nick rubbed his temples with his fingers, a headache quickly forming. "I know enough to know that you deserve better."

Jess chuckled. "Better? I deserve better? What? Someone like you? You're not better Nick." Her words were hard and abrasive, Jess knowing she had to protect herself.

"Jess, you are amazing. You're funny, and smart, and beautiful, and sexy. . . you're. . . if you gave me a chance, I'd "

Jess shook her head, covering her ears with her hands. "No! Nick! Listen to yourself! WE don't work! We don't!"

Nick's jaw was tense, he chewed his bottom lip. " I still feel something between us and I know you do too. So, tell me, why don't you think we would work?"

"BECAUSE YOU LEFT!" Jess screeched, her voice echoing down to the city street below them.

Jess's words hit Nick like a slap in the face. He glowered at her, speechless.

"Nick, look at us! You've not even back two months and we're already screaming at each other. This is why we don't work Nick. Our relationship was always so . . . So . . . explosive. We're like a fire cracker, Sulphuric and combustible. It's fun for a little while but look where that got me. Sure, Royce isn't everyone's cup of tea, but he's. . . Stable. He's safe. Nick he's what I need."

"Stable? He's stable? You're so in love with this man that you're marrying him, and all you can say to describe him is stable? Jess, all I'm saying is you don't have to settle."

"You think I'm settling? Why did you come back Nick? Did you think you could just show up and just whisk me and Josie away? Oh wait, you couldn't think that, because YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT JOSIE!" Jess yelled, Nick almost certain that she would wake Josie.

"I SAID I'M SORRY!" He quipped.

Jess rolled her eyes. "Sorry? Sorry doesn't fix what it feels like to have your baby's first word be "dada", and to know that he would never hear her say it. Sorry won't take back all the sleepless nights Josie lay awake, pondering what tragic accident must have taken you away. Sorry doesn't heal the pain of the girls in Josie's old girl scout troop making fun of her for bringing Schmidt to the father daughter dance. I couldn't even bring myself to tell her about you Nick! I had to lie to my baby girl. Do you know how much it would crush her to learn that her dad was this great, funny, handsome guy, that just walked out on her? It crushed me! Do you know what it was like when you left? I was a ghost! A walking ghost! I didn't sleep for days after you left. I just lay in bed and cried, talking to our unborn child, telling her it would be ok. If it wasn't for Josie. . . "

Nick's brow furrowed. "You knew about Josie before I left?"

Jess's face fell. "I found out the day you left. I was going to tell you that night, but when you came home. . . "

Nick's blood ran cold. He stared at Jess, trying to process this information. "If I knew I would have stayed. Why didn't you tell me?"

Tears slipped down Jess's face. "I wanted you to stay because you wanted to, not because you had to."

Nick sighed, resting in his face in his hands, emotions overtaking him.

Jess wiped away a tear. "I think it's time for you to leave."


	11. Chapter 11

"That hummus looks good!" Jess chirped, peering over Royce's shoulder. The spicy scent of garlic and coriander filled the kitchen.

Royce dusted his hands off on his apron and wrapped his arms around Jess. "Not as good as you look!"

Jess giggled. "Well hello there Mr. Evans."

Royce leaned in, their foreheads touching. He pressed his lips against hers, kissing her hard.

"What's that for?" Jess said breathlessly as they pulled away.

Royce caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Call it a happy birthday kiss."

Guilt washed over Jess, Nick's kiss the week before still stuck in the foreground of her mind. She hadn't told Royce about the kiss, just that she and Nick had once again had a falling out. Royce had oddly been ok with it and hadn't pressed for many details. "How did I get so lucky to have you?" She said, placing her hand on top of his.

"MOMMY! THEY'RE HERE!" Josie called from the living room.

Jess straightened her dress and walked into the living room, as Schmidt, Winston, Cece, and Aly walked in.

"Happy birthday Jess!" Cece called, hugging her tight.

"Come in! Here's some fresh made hummus and veggies. Dinner should be done soon." Royce said, sitting the platter of hummus down.

Schmidt patted Royce on the back. "You'll make a fine house husband."

Cece chuckled. "Don't pay any attention to him Royce."

"Have you set a date yet?" Aly asked, scooping up some hummus with a carrot.

"We haven't really talked about it yet" Jess replied.

"I've been thinking about June 2nd." Royce said

"That's not even two months away." Jess sputtered. "Why the rush?"

A sly smile slipped onto Royce's face. "Why wait?"

Jess swallowed hard. She forced a smile on her face. "Well then. Who can fight with that logic? June 2nd it is."

….

Jess strolled into the kitchen, the tile cool against her bare feet. She opened the box of teas that Schmidt and Cece had given her tonight, her taste buds tingling at all the exotic flavors. She chose one and began to fill her tea pot with water when there was a knock on the door.

"Who on earth could that be?" Royce yelled from the bedroom.

"I'll get it!" Jess called "It's probably Winston. He's always forgetting something."

Jess opened the door, shocked to find Nick standing on the other side. "What do you want?"

Nick stroked his chin, trying to gain all the courage he lost when Jess opened the door. "Please just listen to me."

Jess furrowed her brows. "Are you going to preach to me about your perfect life choices again?"

"I'm not going to say sorry, because I've learned that doesn't fix anything." Nick's palms began to sweat, the small box he was holding suddenly scorching in his hand.

Jess rolled her eyes, unamused with Nick's statement.

Royce walked in the living room. "Jess? Who was at the. . . ." His eyes locked with Nick's.

"hey Royce." Nick said, waving unenthusiastically.

Royce took a deep breath. "What is _HE_ doing here?"

Jess shrugged. "he was just leaving."

Nick held up the small package that he had been holding. "I know today's your birthday."

"I don't want anything from you." Jess seethed, her eyes piercing Nick's soul.

Nick's face fell. "Please? Just open it. You can give it to Josie, it's a family heirloom."

Jess remained vexed, her jaw tight, but took the package.

Royce cleared his throat. "Jessica, you don't have to open that."

Jess ignored Royce and unwrapped the plain brown paper that was wrapped around the box. She opened the lid to reveal a coin on a small silver chain.

"This is a family heirloom? From your family?" She asked, puzzled at the gift.

A small spark flickered in Nick's honey chocolate eyes. "Our family."

"THAT'S MY FIANCE' YOU'RE TALKING TO" Royce interjected, beginning to lunge at Nick.

Jess placed her hand on his chest. She turned, looking up at him. "baby? Can you please just give us a minute? I'm ok, I promise. Just go to bed I'll meet you there."

Royce was tense, his fist clenched tight, but he conceded into the bedroom, sulking the whole way.

"It was going to be a wedding present for you. Before I ruined everything." Nick lamented, ashamed at his past choices.

Jess held the necklace up, the coin shining in the light. "This coin. . . is it. . . "

Nick nervously stuffed his hands in his pockets. "It's the coin I had in my pocket the first night we kissed. I know it's probably inappropriate considering you're engaged, but I wanted you to have it. Maybe our love wasn't meant to be, but that kiss lead to another, and another, and another, which eventually led to Josie. I could explain more, but I really don't want to start thinking of your boobs again."

Jess placed a hand over her mouth, speechless at the thoughtful gift.

Nick smiled slightly. "Like I said, I'm sure it's an inappropriate gift to give you ex-fiancé', but maybe you can give it to Josie or something. Even if you don't want me to see her, I still want her to know I love her. The coin is a circle, a never-ending object. Just like my love for her will never end."

Tears weld up in Jess's eyes, blurring her vision and stinging as she tried to hold them back. "Nick, I don't want you to not see Josie. That's never what I wanted. But you crossed boundaries the other night. You came in here so entitled, so self-righteous, thinking you knew what is best for me, when you yourself singlehandedly destroyed my life."

"I wish I could go back in time and find past Nick and be like 'you're making a really stupid decision man!' and then slap him. I'd also tell him to avoid the burritos at the seven eleven in New York, but that's beside the point. The thing is I can't. I can't go back in time and not ruin our lives. I can't find past Nick, but I'm present Nick. I'm here, I'm still stupid, and impulsive, and confused. I'm going to make mistakes. Like the other night. I should have never have kissed you. I overstepped my bounds. I don't take back what I said, but I do feel really bad about my actions. I don't know what to call this tangled, messy, explosive, train wreck that we are, but I'm here, and I'm trying."

Jess pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him. He surrendered to her embrace, squeezing gently. The world began to melt away, neither of them wanting the hug to end. Jess could feel his warm breath on her neck, her pulse rapidly rising by the second. Nick's fingers resisted the urge to curl themselves up in her brunette locks, while his brain memorized the feeling of her body pressed against his.

Nick pulled away, his soul screaming like a small child clinging to its mother. "I should probably go."

Jess bit her bottom lip, her feelings better left unspoken. "Yeah, Royce is probably already asleep. . . "

Nick squeezed her arm. His eyes crinkled at the corners, his mouth upturning slightly. "See you later Day."

"See you later Miller." Jess hummed softly, a sparkle in her eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

"You can't just keep forgiving him Jessica." Royce slammed the coffee pot down on the counter.

Jess cracked an egg hard against the pan "He's Josie's father. She deserves to have a father in her life."

"He left you pregnant and alone. He's not a father he's a sperm donor."

"I don't want to fight about this. We fought all last night."

"BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST TOO NICE! Jessica, it's one thing for him to waltz back in here and all of you just welcome him with open arms. But he kissed you! Jess, that's crossing a line."

"And I told him that!" Jess snapped, a little too loudly.

Josie padded into the kitchen rubbing her eyes. "Why are you yelling mom? It's too early."

Jess glared at Royce. She kissed Josie on the head. "Exactly baby, It's just too early. How do you want your eggs?"

Josie rolled her eyes. "Do you even have to ask?"

Jess smirked. "Scrambled with maple syrup to dip it in."

"You know it woman!" Josie said, pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

Royce turned up his nose. "How on earth do you eat that?"

Jess smiled. She thought back to lazy Sunday mornings, She and Nick cooking breakfast together. Nick was always in charge of the eggs, one of the few things he knew how to cook. He would always pour a small dab of maple syrup on top of his eggs. Jess would fake gag until he smothered her with sticky, maple kisses. "It's a family thing." Jess muttered.

She turned to Royce, pasting a fake smile on her face for Josie's sake. "Career day is coming up at the school. Maybe you could come since. . . well I'm the principal there. I doubt Josie wants me to speak again."

"Actually, I want Nick to speak at my career day." Josie said nonchalantly.

Royce spat his coffee out, covering his copy of the Centennial in java. "Nick?"

Josie took her plate of eggs from Jess. "No offense Royce, but Nick's a published writer. His job is way cooler."

"Cool doesn't pay the bills." Royce quipped.

Josie placed her hands on her temple. "He knows the lady that wrote Stella Wu! I would die a happy woman if I got to meet her."

Jess sat down next to her. "You're five. You're not dying anytime soon."

Royce, visually annoyed, stood up. "Well if that's how you feel Josie. I've got to get going, I'm going to be late."

"See you later babe." Jess murmured, she turned to kiss Royce, but he was already walking out of the kitchen.

…

"Thanks for inviting me Josie. It means a lot to me." Nick said, anxiously tugging at his shirt sleeve.

Josie picked up on his anxiety. "you're not nervous, are you?"

"I'm not the best public speaker. Talking's really not my thing."

"They're elementary kids Nick. You're like forty years older than everyone in the audience."

Nick did a double take. "Wait a minute Josie how old do you think I am?"

"Shhhh, Lucy Gramble's aunt is almost done. Then it's our turn."

The audience applauded, and Jess came out onto the stage. She took the microphone from Lucy's aunt. "Thank you Mrs. Gramble for answering the question 'where do babies come from', I'm sure my phone will be ringing off the hook later. Next up, First grader Josie Day."

Josie walked out onto the stage. She held the microphone tight in her hands. "Thanks Principal Day." She turned back to the wing of the stage and winked at Jess and Nick.

"She's a natural." Nick said, in awe of Josie's ease on stage.

"She's just so sure she's going to win career day because you apparently are the coolest person ever." Jess chuckled.

"I am pretty cool." Nick joked.

"I guess you are." Jess beamed, a flutter in her stomach taking her off guard.

Nick gazed over at Jess, getting lost in the sapphire haze of her eyes. She held his gaze, while Josie chirped away into the microphone. Nick began to speak when Josie's words caught his attention. "Without further ado here is writer of the 'Pepperword Chronicles', my dad, Nick Miller."

Jess gasped, taking in Josie's words, grasping the wall to try and stay upright.

Nick's eyes bulged, his throat tightening, his mouth dry. "Did she just. . . "

"Did you tell her?" Jess croaked.

Nick shook his head. "I promise you I haven't said anything. . . I. . ."

"psssstttt. Nickkkkkk." Josie called walking toward him, "you're on."

Nick tried to regain some composure and walked out onto the stage. "Hey guys! Like Josie said, I'm Nick Miller, writer of the 'Pepperwood Chronicles.'"

Jess drew in a deep breath. "Josie, did you just introduce Nick as your dad?"

Josie snorted. "Mom, I'm a five-year-old with an IQ of 137, and it's not that hard to figure out. He's from Chicago. Our bone structures are very similar, and You two look at each other like uncle Schmidt looks when he walks into Nordstrom. Nick left around the same time you got pregnant with me. On top of all that, you're not a very quiet whisperer. "

Jess closed her eyes beating rapidly in her chest. As nervous as she was about what this discovery might entail a sense of relief flooded her, her body no longer struggling with a secret.

Josie glanced out at Nick, on stage, watching him speak. "My dad is the coolest."

…

"Thanks again for watching her. Things have been kind of tense with Royce and I, and we could really use the alone time." Jess whispered, standing in the doorway of the loft. "It has really bothered Royce now that Josie knows Nick is her dad."

"I still can't get over the fact that little sneak figured it out." Cece replied.

Jess smiled meekly. "It's better this way. I hated lying to her."

"At least Schmidt will stop telling her that her real dad is a Romney."

Jess chuckled. "At least we have that!"

"Well she'll be fine, I'll see you in the morning." Cece said. She hugged Jess and shut the door.

Cece walked into the living room, where Josie sat between Winston and Schmidt watching tv.

"Is "Vikings" really an appropriate show for her to watch?" Cece questioned.

"Aunt Cece! Don't be a party pooper! I love this show!" Josie whined.

"Yeah Cece don't be a party pooper!" Schmidt echoed.

Winston turned his head. "it _IS_ on the history channel. . . . That means it's gotta be educational right?"

Cece sighed, clearly outnumbered. "Whatever. I'm going to go take a shower."

As soon as Josie heard the water turn on she clicked off the tv.

"What the . . . whaaaaa? Josie! Now we'll never know if Ragnar Lothbrok dies!" Schmidt cried.

Josie stood up, placing her hands on her hips. "Uncle Winnie, I need your help."

"Help you with what?" Winston asked.

"Why do you want Winston's help and not my help? " Schmidt asked.

Winston laughed. "I'm her favorite uncle. I do puzzles with her."

"Favorite uncle psshhh." Schmidt rolled his eyes.

Winston stood up. "Schmidt, the child is named after me."

"SHE'S NAMED AFTER BOTH OF US! FOR THE LAST TIME WINSTON IS BOTH OF OUR NAMES!" Schmidt shrieked.

"YOU'RE WASTING TIME!" Josie yelled stomping her foot for attention.

Schmidt and Winston turned to face Josie.

"Uncle Schmidt, I love you but you'll sing faster than Mark Felt during the Watergate scandals. Cece is obviously going to be on my mom's side, so she can't know."

"I promise Josie, I won't tell." Schmidt said offering up his pinky. "Pinky promise."

"Pinky promises are for babies. I need your word Schmidt." Josie spat.

Schmidt was taken aback by Josie's ferocity. "Well then mini Al Capone, you have my word. Now what is it your little evil genius brain is planning?"

Josie eyed Winston, looking for his approval.

"Go ahead and let him in on it. I'm feeling generous today."

Josie lowered her head, peering out over the rim of her glasses. "I want you to help me parent trap them."

"Parent trap them? Who?" Winston and Schmidt replied in unison.

A mischievous smile spread across Josie's face. "My parents."


	13. Chapter 13

"Why are we doing this?" Schmidt asked.

Winston threw his hands up. "for Josie man! Besides, if I'm doing something stupid. . . "

"I'll be there to make it even stupider." Schmidt sighed. "But do we really want to mess with Jess's wedding? I mean she's finally happy. .. ."

"Do you remember the cookout last Labor Day? When Jess first started dating Royce? What did he say to you?"

Schmidt's face fell. "He came in with that snappy little 'I guess Schmidt didn't get the memo that it's Labor Day! Remark, But Winston the rule is to not wear white _after_ Labor Day! My white Bermuda's were perfectly fine and in style! I walked around the rest of the day, people commenting on my fashion faux pas! You know what, let's do it!

…

"Professor Royce Evans" Royce answered, his voice calm and professional.

Winston lowered his voice, changing it into a deep, husky baritone. "Yes, this is Doctor Theodore K. Mullins from the Math and Economics department at UCLA."

Royce's voice perked up. "Yes? Hello Doctor Mullins how can I help you?"

"I've recently read your publication 'Industrial organization, mathematical theory put to use' and I'd like to arrange an interview." Winston replied.

"an interview? For what position?" Royce replied.

Winston cleared his throat. "a teaching position. I have one interview left today at 3."

Royce sighed lightly. "I'm afraid I already have an appointment at 3. Could you do tomorrow morning?"

Winston hit the table, making sure the sound echoed into the phone. "I can only meet today at 3! If you are not interested Professor Evans, perhaps I can call someone else from my long list of applicants."

"No! I will be there!" Royce said, Winston detecting a bit of strain in his voice.

"Perfect. See you at 3." Winston replied, smiling slightly.

…

"Principal Day, Mr. Schmidt is here to see you." Cheryl buzzed, giving Schmidt the elevator eye.

"Ok, I'll be out in just a minute!" Jess chirped back.

"Principal Day will be right out Mr. Schmidt. You can have a seat if you'd like." She motioned to the chair next to her desk.

"Thanks Cheryl. Is that a new perm? You look lovely. Like someone's great aunt Gladys."

Cheryl blushed, not noticing Schmidt's sarcasm. "well thank you honey! This is just Velcro rollers and some good ol' Aqua Net!"

"Hey Schmidt! Ready for lunch?" Jess said, appearing in the doorway.

"I'm telling you Jessica, Royce has nothing on this." Cheryl said as she waggled her finger at Schmidt.

Jess smirked. "And I'm telling you Cheryl, he's married to my best friend."

Cheryl shook her head. "Tsk. Tsk. Your best friend has good taste."

Schmidt smiled. "well Cheryl, it's been. . . awkward as always. See you soon."

"See you honey. You know what they say, 'hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave." Cheryl winked at him.

Schmidt laughed nervously. "I'm flattered. Can we please go now Jess?"

Jess laughed. "Sure, come on."

They walked out to Jess's car. Jess had just started the car when Schmidt grabbed his wrist. "I'm missing a cufflink!" he screeched.

"A cufflink?" Jess asked.

"It must have fell out when I was in the office! It's one of my Gucci Silver Brit cuff links too! " He bellowed.

Jess shrugged. "well calm down mr. Fancy Pants let's just go back in and find it."

Schmidt smiled at Jess. "Could you? Please? I don't want to give Cheryl a chance to oogle me again."

Jess laughed. "She's harmless! But stay here, I'll go look."

Schmidt patted her shoulder. "You're a good friend."

As soon as Jess was out of the car, Schmidt opened her purse. He pulled out her cell phone, eyeing her gaudy pink bunny shaped phone case, complete with fluffy tail. "Is this her phone or Josie's" he muttered in disgust. He powered off the phone and slipped it into his pocket and pulled out the cuff link.

Jess opened the car door. "It's not in there! Unless Cheryl. . . "

"I found it!" He called, holding up the cuff link. "it must have been stuck in my jacket sleeve."

Jess smiled. "I thought Cheryl added it to her Schmidt doll."

Schmidt shuttered. "She doesn't really have a Schmidt doll, right?"

Jess winked. "who knows."

...

"Where are you Royce?" Jess muttered, glancing at the clock on the wall.

The receptionist eyed Jess suspiciously. "Ms. Day should we reschedule?"

Jess bit her lip. "He should be here any minute.. .I . . . " Just then she saw Nick walking toward the dress shop looking lost. "There he is!"

She opened the door and called out "There you are sweetie! Took you long enough!"

Nick looked puzzled. "Jess? Sweetie? What the. . . "

Jess squeezed his arm tight. "Please just go with it Miller. I'll explain later." She whispered softly.

"Hi! I'm. . ."

Jess interrupted him. "This is my fiancé Royce."

Nick arched his eyebrow, confused, but went along with Jess's ruse. "Yes, Hi I'm Royce. Jess's fiancé."

"Oh great! Right this way, Luna has been waiting for you."

"Jess! I can't lie! you know that!" Nick hissed.

"Nick, this is my dream wedding dress designer. She won't design for you unless she meets both the bride and the groom, and who knows where Royce is. Please just do this for me?"

Nick sighed, but drudgingly went along.

Luna was a tall, thin woman, who wore gold bangles stacked up to her arm, and a floor length black maxi dress. Her sky-blue hair was piled on top of her head into a wispy, loose bun. She eyed Nick and Jess. "So, you are Jessica and Royce? I've got to say you two look very nice together."

"Th. . .thank you." Jess stuttered. "thank you for doing this such short notice."

"Awww any friend of Willa is a friend of mine." Luna said calmly.

Nick smiled. "Friends discount then?" he joked.

Luna turned to Jess, unamused with Nick's joke. "So, as you know, I need to get a feel for the couple, their 'essence' so to speak, so that your dress will fit your wedding 100 percent. So, tell me, how did you two meet?"

Nick opened his mouth, but Jess squeezed his hand hard. "We met at a teacher's symposium."

"Aw so you're both teachers?"

"I'm actually a principal, and Royce here is a professor at Pasadena Community College."

"Oh higher education, what do you teach Mr. Evans?"

Nick glanced at Jess, worried. "I teach. . . "

"Math and economics." Jess blurted.

Luna gave Jess a confused glance but continued. "Ok. So how did he propose?"

Jess glanced at Nick. "Funny story actually. He . . ."

Luna calmly held up her hand. "If you don't mind, I'd like to hear from the groom. There are two people to a couple."

"Oh, of course."

Nick could feel the sweat pooling underneath his shirt. "How did I propose?"

Luna stared at Nick, her deep chocolate eyes burning into his skin. "Yes. How did you propose?"

He swallowed hard. "At the door to the loft."

"The door to the loft?" Luna questioned.

"Oh yeah, the um. . . symposium was held at a loft. I took her back to that loft. I remember it like it was yesterday. she had on a blue skirt, and a blue and red striped shirt, with little anchors on it. As she walked in, I got down on one knee and said "Jessica, I fell in love with you the moment you walked through that door. I would love nothing greater than to see you walk through that dooras my wife. Will you marry me?"

Jess smiled at him, the fond memories of Nick proposing all those years ago, bringing a tear to her eye.

"That's beautiful Mr. Evans! Very original."

Nick smiled at Jess. "It was straight from the heart."

"Ok, now Royce. . . What kind of dress do you envision Jessica walking down the aisle in?"

He answered right away, like he had thought of this question before. "Something delicate, and feminine. Like her. Lace sleeves and a high neck, because it reminds me of those pioneer stories she loves to read. Fitted, to show off her amazing curves, but not too tight. kind of going out like a mermaid's tail at the bottom, mermaids are sexy." Nick became lost in thought, envisioning Jess in a cream gown, eyelet lace cascading down her slender arms, the dress pulling slightly at her hips.

Luna's words snapped him back to reality. "What about you Jessica? What's your dream dress?"

Jess stared at Nick in awe. "Actually, he just perfectly described it."

Luna pressed her hands together, her bracelets jingling. "Oh, I just love it when couples are so in sync!"

Nick and Jess exchanged glances, a small smile on their faces.

. . .

"Ok Jess I should call you in about a week, so that you can come check out some samples." Luna said. She hugged Jess, pressing her body against hers. She leaned in, her mouth close to Jess's ear. "Congrats on the engagement, he's perfect for you. "

Jess blushed. "thanks."

Luna turned to Nick. "And Royce, thanks for coming to the dress appointment! I know most guys could care less about wedding dresses."

Nick shrugged. "I'd do anything for Jess."

Nick's words made Jess's stomach flip flop, a familiar feeling, that she hadn't felt in years. "Ok Luna! See you later! Thanks again!"

Nick linked hands with Jess. "Yes Luna, thanks for making my bride happy."

"What do you think you're doing?" Jess hissed under her breath, as they walked out of the double doors.

Nick smiled a coy smile. "just going along with it, Day."

Suddenly, Jess stopped in her tracks. Nick looked up and immediately dropped Jess's hand.

"Royce?" Jess stuttered.

"What are you two doing?" Royce snapped, an angry scowl across his face.

Jess's brow furrowed. "Well Nick and I just had an appointment with Luna for my wedding dress since you DITCHED me."

" Since I ditched you? Jessica, I text and called you multiple times! I had an interview at UCLA. Well, at least I thought I did." He held his hand to his chest like he was hurt.

"an interview? You thought you did? What? And I lost my phone. I haven't had it since about noon."

He rolled his eyes. "Again!? Jessica seriously you are so irresponsible. I swear you. . . "

"Hey don't talk to her like that." Nick interjected.

Royce glared at Nick. "You have no say so in this argument. You may have played pretend wedding all afternoon with her, but she is MY fiancé."

"Well she's the mother of MY child and she deserves to be treated better than that." Nick snapped.

"I thought I . . . "

"Enough!" Jess screeched. "let's not make a scene here."

"you two have already put on quite the production it seems."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Where were you?"

"A Theodore K. Mullins called me this morning and asked me to come interview for a job at UCLA. It turns out, after scouring the campus and looking like a total idiot, that there is no 'Theodore K. Mullins' that works at UCLA. It was all a joke."

Nick and jess exchanged glances. Nick giggled. "Theodore K. Mullins?"

"Is that funny to you? You probably set the whole thing up!"

"Schmidt asked me to meet him here!" Nick bellowed. "not that it's any of your business."

Jess pressed her hand to Royce's chest. "Just go home, make some Earl Gray and relax. I'll be over later."

Royce sighed. "If you think for one minute that I trust this. . . "

Jess shook her head. "just go home. I'm going to go pick up Josie. Nick is going. . . somewhere else."

"Fine. I guess I'll see you later." Royce sneered. He kissed Jess on the forehead, and then walked to his car.

As soon as Royce was out of the parking lot, Nick turned to Jess. "Theodore K. Mullins?"

She scowled. " I bet you I know where my phone is. . . I lost it at lunch with Schmidt."

"Why would Winston and Schmidt mess with your dress appointment?" Nick asked.

Jess crossed her arms defensively. "They're just the minions for a little evil genius named Josie."

"You mean. . ."

"Nick, I think we've been parent trapped."


	14. Chapter 14

Jess barged into the loft, Nick not too far behind her. "If your name has Winston in it, get in here NOW!" She barked.

Startled, Cece jumped up from the couch. "What's going on? What happened?"

Nick appeared in the doorway. "we were parent trapped."

Cece furrowed her brow "parent trapped?"

Winston and Schmidt slowly paraded into the living room.

Jess yelled again. "Josie WINSTON Day that means you too."

Josie walked out, timidly, hiding behind Schmidt and Winston. "What's wrong Mom?"

Jess laughed. "What's wrong? Anyone want to explain why Theodore K. Mullins called Royce this morning and scheduled a job interview at the same time as my dress appointment?" She glared at Winston, and then turned her head to Schmidt. "Or the fact that he couldn't call me because my phone conveniently went missing at lunch with Schmidt?"

"And Schmidt asked me to meet him for a late lunch and gave me the dress shop's address." Nick interjected.

Josie sighed. "Theodore K. Mullins? Prank Sinatra you're losing your touch! Never use a name they know!"

"AHA!" Jess quipped, pointing a finger at Josie.

"Josie!" Schmidt screeched.

Cece planted her hands on her hips. "Winston Schmidt!"

Winston pleaded with Jess. "look at that face! How could I tell her no?"

"you tampered with my relationship!" Jess replied.

Cece was glaring at Schmidt. "You tried to parent trap Jess, the creator of 'the parent trap'?"

"I just want you two together!" Josie screamed, and ran out of the room.

Jess and Nick exchanged worried glances. "maybe you should go." Nick said, sighing lightly.

Jess shook her head. "No, we should both go. She needs her mom and dad."

…

Jess knocked on the door. "Josie? Joze?"

Josie lay on Schmidt and Cece's bed, sobbing. "go away."

Nick and Jess walked in, and sat on the bed. Jess brushed back Josie's hair. "Josie. I'm sorry."

"I just want you two together. I want my mom and dad. Two parents." She sobbed.

Nick gently placed his hand on Josie's back. "Aw Josie, You're extra special. You get your mom, and me, and Royce."

"I don't want my mom to marry stupid, dumb, Royce." Josie mumbled.

Jess was taken aback by Josie's words. "Why don't you want me to marry Royce?"

Josie sat up, wiping her eyes. "He's boring mom. All he wants to do is watch Larry King, and talk about the Dow Jones. He irons his underwear for crying out loud. Nick is fun. He's exciting. He calls pizza crust, pizza bones. He writes book and has traveled all over the world. He talks to me about Stella Wu and lets me have as many fruit snacks as I want. He's my dad."

Nick rubbed her back softly. "I'll always be your dad. No matter what."

Josie peered up at him, her blue eyes full of salty tears. "You came back for mom. If mom marries Royce, you're just going to leave again."

Josie's words stabbed Nick, straight in the heart. He swallowed hard. "I'm never going to leave you. I pinky promise it."

Josie glared at him. "Pinky promises are just mindless superstition."

He chuckled. "Josie, I'm not going to leave you. I didn't leave you. I had a lot of growing up to do, before I could be someone's husband, or someone's dad. When I left, It wasn't to escape you or your mom. It was to give you two a chance at something better. I wanted your mom, and . . . .I didn't know about you, but as soon as I did I wanted you too. You're one of the best things I ever made."

Jess wiped away a stray tear. "Josie, he's here to stay. I will never make him leave."

Josie looked at the both of them apprehensively.

"Josie, you remember your Grandpa Walt? The one who liked Elvis?" Nick asked.

Josie shook her head.

"He told me a great piece of advice. I was nervous about having. . . you know what, that's not important. But, I was nervous and scared and he told me 'Don't overthink. Some of the best things happen when you're _not_ thinking. I want to make sure you don't miss out on the things of life that are happening when you're _not_ thinking because believe me, those are the best things."

Jess wrapped her arms around Josie. "What he's trying to say is, just enjoy life. Stop worrying. He will always be here."

Nick wrapped his arms around Josie as well, his arms overlapping Jess's. He glanced at Jess, their eyes meeting. "Yes, I'll always be here."

…

"Honestly Jess, why do I have to help with this nonsense. " Royce said, furrowing his brow.

Jess pressed her lips together and let out an exasperated sigh. "Because you're the one who insisted on inviting everyone you knew. Our wedding is tomorrow, and the caterer needs the final numbers by noon today. Personally, I don't know why we don't just run off to city hall."

"city hall? Like I would even step foot downtown by choice." Royce said, crinkling his nose.

"there's nothing wrong with downtown." Jess sighed.

"Jessica, why is Nick on our guest list?"

Jess looked up from her papers. "Because he's a guest?"

Royce shook his head. "You can't be serious."

Jess crossed her arms defensively. "Why can't I be?"

"You're inviting your ex fiancé to our wedding?"

"Yes I am. Why is that a problem?"

Royce rolled his eyes. "The problem is he's the same ex-fiancé that kissed you while we were engaged, and then two weeks ago I caught you two canoodling out of a wedding dress shop where you just pretended to be fiancés."

"Oh, and he might make a move on me, AT OUR WEDDING? Royce that's absurd. He apologized for the kiss, and in case you forgot, he pretended to be my fiancé because you didn't show!" Jess's blood was boiling. Between the stress of the fast track wedding, and the introduction of Nick back into her life, things had become rather strained between her and Royce.

"I was a no show, because someone called me pretending there was an interview at UCLA. You know I've always wanted to work at UCLA!" The vein in Royce's neck was popping out, throbbing slightly.

Jess bit her lip, she hadn't told Royce that Josie and her two minions were behind his fake UCLA interview, knowing that it would cause more harm than anything. "Look. He's not just my ex fiancé. He's Josie's father. He's part of her life. He's part of my life. Whether you like that or not. He's always going to be there."

Royce rubbed his temples. "I've got to get to work. I'll see you tonight at the rehearsal dinner."

Jess's face fell. "I thought you were going to help me decorate the ballroom."

"I have a stack of finals to grade, and I have office hours until four. It's close to graduation I can't take time off. If I have time, I'll come help. " He said, his lips pressed tight.

"Oh, ok." Jess muttered. She looked out the window. "You better take an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain."

Royce chuckled, slapping his knee for emphasis. "We're in the middle of a drought, with no end in sight. We just watched the forecast this morning, hot, dry, and sunny."

…

"A little more to the right Cece!" Jess called.

Cece strained, reaching as high as she could. "I already look like Strech Armstrong up here."

"I'm pulling as much as I can, I promise!" Aly called.

"hmmmphh." Jess sighed. "Just come down. There's no way we can drape this tulle with just me, you, and Aly."

"Lucky for you I've brought three more." A voice called out from the doorway. Jess, Aly, and Cece turned around, to see Nick, Schmidt, and Winston standing there. *

"Nick!" Jess called. She ran over, hugging the three of them. "Schmidt and Winston, I thought you had to work!"

"Nick called in and said there was a family emergency." Schmidt smiled.

Jess smiled at Nick. "thanks Miller."

"anytime Day." He smiled back.

…

"It looks like the big top in a circus. Oh my God! Can you have elephant at your wedding!?" Schmidt said laying on the ballroom floor. All six of them lay on the floor in a circle, looking up at the extravagant lights and tulle. Halfway through, Winston and Nick had left to get some more staples for the staple gun and came back with beer and it had become a drunken soirée.

Jess rolled over, staring at him. "Can I have an elephant at my wedding?"

Cece snorted. "That would be . . . AWESOME!"

Nick tried to take a sip of his beer while laying down, dribbling it all over his shirt. "I miss this."

"I do too." Jess said, smiling softly.

"you know what else I missed?" He asked. "TRUE AMERICAN!"

Aly sprang up. "should we?"

"we should!" Jess agreed.

The six of them jumped up "1, 2, 3,4… JFK!" They all called out in unison.

"THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" Winston yelled, scrambling to a chair.

Jess climbed onto a chair. "the only thing we have to fear . . . ."

"is fear itself!" Everyone cheered.

"1. . . 2. . . 3. . . 4 shoot!" Schmidt called out. Everyone threw a number to their head with their fingers. "If it's an odd number, move two chairs!"

Nick groaned, as he held three fingers up. He moved clumsily from chair to chair, ending up on the chair Jess was standing on.

"Nick! No! We can't both fit on this chair!" she protested.

"I'm invading this colony!" He chuckled.

She tried to make room on the small seat of the chavari chair, but it was useless. She began to slip and grabbed Nick to steady herself.

He wrapped his arms around her, helping her balance. "easy there." He said breathlessly.

Their faces were just inches apart, she could feel his breath on her neck. Her heart raced, she was almost sure he could hear the pounding from her chest. "thh,. . . thanks." She stuttered.

He smiled at her, making her knees go weak. She lost her footing and began to fall. Nick tightened his grip around her waist, trying to save her, but he began to fall too.

"George Washington cut down the cherry tree!" he called as they fell to the ground becoming a tangled mess of limbs.

A giggle escaped Jess, small and squeaky under the weight of Nick's body.

Nick looked down at her and brushed a stray stand of hair from her face. "are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Jess said, smiling.

Nick's thumb lingered on her cheek. "good."

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Royce snapped, as he entered the ballroom.

Nick quickly rolled off of Jess.

"Just having a little fun, after decorating." Jess said, brushing off her clothes.

Royce's face tightened. "fun? It looks like you two were having lots of fun, while your friends walloped around on the rented chairs like animals!"

"Lighten up a bit man." Schmidt snapped.

Royce pursed his lips tight. "lighten up?"

"Royce honestly, there was nothing going on. We were both standing on a chair while playing True American, and we fell."

Royce's chin jutted out, his jaw tight. "you've got a lot of nerve to lie to me, in the ballroom we're supposed to get married in tomorrow!" He stormed out of the ballroom.

Jess's face fell. "Royce! Royce wait!"

She ran after him. She flung the door open and ran into the parking lot. The air was thick and sticky, the sky an ominous gray. "Royce please!" She yelled, out of breath.

"Jessica, there is nothing to talk about." Royce snapped, pushing his key fob to unlock his car.

Jess sighed. "Royce you're overreacting!"

"I saw the way you looked at him Jess!" Royce yelled, hurt flashing in his eyes.

"Royce I'm sorry. I didn't look at him any kind of way. We're just friends, he's. . . " Jess stammered.

"Do you still love him?" Royce asked, his words flat and sharp.

Jess's eyes widened. "What?"

"Oh, you heard me Jessica! Do you still love him?" Royce yelled.

"It's not that simple." She croaked.

He opened his car door. "No explanations. Just a simple yes or no. Do you love him?"

Bile rose in Jess's throat. Her face was hot and flushed. Her heart was beating rapidly, her pulse pounding in her ears. Her mouth opened, ready to salvage this relationship, but she just stared at him unable to form words.

"That's what I thought." He snapped. He got into his car and slammed the door.

Jess stood frozen in the parking lot watching him drive off, stoic and numb. As Royce's car disappeared down the road, becoming smaller and smaller the sky opened up, and it began to rain.


	15. Chapter 15

The rain pelted the car, the wiper blades trying hard to keep up with the downpour.

"I'm overreacting? No Jessica, you're not reacting enough. Does our relationship mean nothing to you?" Royce yelled.

Jess sighed. "It means a lot to me. That's why I'm offended that you would accuse me of something like what you're accusing me of!"

Royce's slammed his foot against the accelerator, making the car go even faster. "Accusing? I saw it with my own eyes. HE KISSED YOU JESS! KISSED YOU KNOWING YOU WERE ENGAGED!"

"He got lost in the moment! It didn't mean anything to me." Jess replied.

"Exactly! You're engaged. You shouldn't be having 'moments' with anyone else!"

Jess ran her hands through her hair. "what do you want me to do Royce? Not see him? Cut him out of my life?"

Royce's lips curled into a slight smile. "That's actually not a bad idea."

"Oh, you can't be serious!" Jess exclaimed, her mouth gaped open in disbelief.

"why can't I? I think it would be the best thing for the both of us."

Jess could feel her face starting to flush with anger. "He's Josie's FATHER! They're just building a relationship. I can't just cut him out!"

"Josie, Josie, Josie!" Royce shouted, hitting the steering wheel. "Why can't you focus on just us for once!?"

Jess was silent for a minute, staring at Royce. She bit her lip. "Royce, Josie is part of this family. She is part of 'us'. She and I, we're a packaged deal."

Royce glared out the window. "Everything was perfect until he showed back up. He broke down what I worked so hard to build."

"If he could break it down that easily, was it ever that perfect?" She knew she shouldn't have said it, it was only going to provoke him even more, but it just rolled off her tongue.

"It's like you're a whole other person now Jessica. I don't even know you anymore."

"or maybe I just got to know who you were a little too well." Jess snapped back.

This angered Royce. "what are you trying to say?"

" I thought Josie and I needed stability, someone who is rigid and fixed. I thought we needed you. But we need someone who was free. Loose and flexible. Someone who won't just be 'a father' but a dad. We needed. . . "

He whipped the car into a parking spot and put it in park. His voice dropped, almost inaudible. "You think you need Nick. Well guess what Jess. In six months, when Nick grows bored of you again, and runs off in the middle of the night guess who you're going to need? Me. But I won't be there. "

Jess froze, digesting what Royce meant. "Royce. That's not what I meant at all. I'm saying that we need the both of you. . . we need. . . "

"get out of my car." He hissed, his eyes remained fixed on the windshield.

Jess was perplexed. "What?"

"You heard me. Get out of my car." He said coolly, his eyes refusing to look in her direction.

Stunned, Jess silently opened the door to the car. She lingered for a minute, her mouth searching for the right thing to say, but coming up empty.

She stood up, instantly being pelted by the cold, heavy raindrops.

"Oh, and Jessica?" Royce called.

She poked her head back in, her hair making small puddles across his leather interior. "yeah?"

"I'd like my ring back." He snapped.

Jess solemnly slid the ring off her finger and placed it on his seat.

Once again Royce turned his head, not wanting to look at Jess. She slammed the door, and stood broken and defeated, watching him speed off.

…

The rain was cold, and sent shivers down Nick's back, as he jogged across the parking lot of La Pomme. He shook some of the rain water out of his thick, burly hair and entered the restaurant. He spotted Jess instantly, sitting at a booth all alone, running her finger around the rim of a glass full of pink wine.

He walked over, sliding in next to her. "Hey Jess! Where's Royce?"

Her makeup was smudged under her eyes, her nose tipped pink. She had been crying."Probably throwing everything of mine that's at his house out on the lawn."

Nick was taken aback by her words. "What? What happened?"

"We broke up." She said, peering solemnly into her glass. She swirled the pink liquid around in her glass before placing it to her lips.

His eyes widened. "Jess your wedding is tomorrow. What do you mean you broke up?"

Jess turned to him, her face deadpan. "What it sounds like Miller. We broke up. There won't be any wedding. I ruined it. I better call everyone and tell them not to even come."

Nick sighed, clasping his hands in front of him. "Actually, they called me right before I got here. The 405 is at a standstill, part of the road is flooded out. They're stuck over by the San Bernardino freeway. No telling when they'll make It."

"It's probably for the best. I just want to sit here and drink my rose' and wallow in self-pity about yet another failed relationship." her face drooped, making a heavy feeling in the pit of Nick's stomach.

"I'm sorry." He said, wanting so bad to wrap his arms around her and squeeze her tight.

"What are you sorry for?" She said, taking a large gulp of her wine.

He swallowed hard. "it's my fault."

Jess drained the last of her glass. "Don't flatter yourself Miller. It's not your fault."

"I know this is my fault. I thought It would fix things if I came back, but in reality, it made things worse. I should have stayed away. It was a mistake, I'm sorry for ruining your and Josie's lives. Again."

Jess's eyes widened. "Don't you ever say that. You didn't ruin our lives. If anything, you saved us. Royce and I rushed into things. We were a ticking time bomb, our own demise."

Nick glanced at her sympathetically. "If you were two the time bomb, I was the detonating switch."

"You've done so much good for Josie. Nick, she asked to go to the Ocean this past weekend! I haven't found Web MD in her browser history in almost a month! She's. . . happier. I'm happier."

"Jess, I want to say this, but I'm not coming on to you, ok? I'm not trying to win you back or take advantage of the situation. I just need to tell you how I feel. "

Jess rolled her eyes.

He fidgeted with the white cloth napkin, picking at a loose thread. "Just listen. I had been in New York for a few months, when I started to feel homesick. I thought I missed home, so I flew to Chicago. I still felt homesick, and I couldn't shake it. That's when I realized it. When I thought of home, I didn't think of Chicago, or L.A. or the loft. I thought of you. I didn't miss a place, I missed a person, I missed you. You are my home."

Jess let out a deep breath, not realizing that she had been holding her breath. Nick blurry, tears clouding her vision. "I'm glad you're back." she whispered.

He wrapped his arm around her, giving her a tight squeeze. She pressed her head into his chest, inhaling deeply. Her head fit perfectly against his chest, like their bodies were made each other. She sighed slightly and then lifted her head.

"Look, are we going to sit here and mope all night or are we just going to have a good time."

Nick grinned, a crooked smile that upturned ever so slightly more on one side than the other. a smile that made Jess's heart flutter.

Jess smiled back. She held her hand up and flagged down the waiter. "Another Rose' please. . . the biggest you have! and a gin and tonic for the gentleman."

…

"Your hands are sooooo warm!" Jess cooed, "like little toasty hot pockets. Pepperoni ones, because they're the best."

"I don't think I should have let you have so much to drink." Nick said, trying to open the apartment door while cradling Jess in his arms.

"I'mnotdrunk." she babbled, the words tumbling out of her mouth at break neck speed.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you're drunk. Lower your voice, it's three a.m." Nick replied.

"it's three a.m. I must be lonelyyyyyyy. . . ." She crooned, singing the old Matchbox Twenty song.

She leaned in to him, bringing her lips to his ear "Nicccccck." She whispered loudly, "I'm not drunk. I'm just . . . .twirly!"

The lock let out a successful "click", and Nick pushed open the door. "Okay, let's get you into bed."

He carried her through the apartment and sat her down on the edge of the bed. She frowned, jutting out her bottom lip. "You had just as much as me, how are you not twirly?"

"I'm a Miller Jess, I don't get twirly." He laughed as he sat down on the bed.

He sat down next to her, the room silent except for the patter of rain against the window.

Jess looked around the room, reality sobering her. "don't leave me Nick." She whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.

He rubbed her back softly. "I won't."

…

"5:00 A.M." the bright blue numbers of the alarm clock glared. Two hours. They had laid on the bed, talking about everything yet nothing for two hours. They had talked, and ate, and listened to music. The time flew by, hours feeling like minutes.

Boys 2 Men's "I'll Make Love to You" came on the radio.

Nick turned it up. "awwww yeah! This used to get me all the girls in high school!"

Jess snorted. "Did you cry with them like you did Alison Daniels?"

Nick's mouth gaped open. He stabbed a finger in Jess's direction. "I told you that in confidence!"

"This song reminds me of Brad Ellis."

"Oooh who was Brad Ellis?" Nick propped his fist under his chin and fluttered his eye lashes.

Jess giggled. "Brad Ellis was only the dreamiest guy in all of Oregon. He wasn't my usual type, but a dream boat for sure. His hair was so spikey, it added at least three inches to his height. The tips were bleached so much, they weren't blonde they were white. He wore Livestrong bracelets, and cared about stuff."

Nick flipped onto his stomach. "So, did Johnathan Taylor Heartthrob dance to this song with you or something?"

"Oh no!" Jess pipped. "Brad Ellis thought I was a boy until he saw me go into the girl's locker room junior year. I just used to dream about him making a bet with the popular kids, giving me a 'makeover' that really just consist of taking my glasses off and making me wear something other than overalls. . . "

Nick interrupted. "Jess you're describing the plot line to she's all that."

"Any who, he'd fall for me and make me a mix tape and this would be on it."

Nick sat up, laying back against the head board. "Well Brad Ellis doesn't know what he missed out on."

Jess threw her hand up. "Oh please. Nobody missed out on dating this."

Nick glanced over at her. "I would have dated you in high school."

Jess's heart skipped a beat. "You would not."

Nick nodded. "I would! With your overalls and glasses, and your wonky knee!"

Jess paused. She glanced over at him, their eyes meeting. "Nick, what happened to us? Why couldn't we make it work? I mean. . . . you're perfect."

Nick wrapped an arm around Jess, pulling her in close. "Nobody is perfect. They may seem perfect at first, but eventually, the butterflies fly away, and you're left with a person who's not perfect. Someone who's rough around the edges, who doesn't always say the right things at the right time. Someone who makes mistakes. Jess, leaving you was a mistake."

Jess sobbed lightly, leaning into his chest, tears staining his powder blue dress shirt. "Why. . . Why did you come back? After all these years?"

Nick brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. "Like I've said before, you're the kind of girl a guy would come back for."

Jess glanced up at him. Their eyes met, words tied up in a moment of stillness. Jess turned her head, brushing off the heated tension rising between them, and pretended to be engrossed in the rain. Nick grabbed her face, pulling his lips to hers. He couldn't help himself. The only thing that mattered to him, was touching Jess. As their lips met, electricity rippled across her skin. His smell, rich oak, peppered with dark amber notes filled her nose, shutting down every instinct, every part of her brain that was screaming not to do this. This reckless behavior made her feel more alive, than she had in a long time. She was good at playing cool, full of logic and feigned detachment, but she had ached for Nick's touch since he had walked into her office.

His hands slid under her shirt, the rough and worn skin of his hands sent her nerves tinging , a harsh comfort against her delicate back. His hands were made for hard, manual labor, not the delicate clasps of her bra. They fumbled, unable to unhook it.

"Just take it off already" She growled, the liquid courage still slightly coursing through her veins taking away the filter that had always stopped her.

Nick slipped her top off in one fluid motion, tossing it across the room. He unhooked her bra, breathing a ragged sigh of relief. A crack of thunder growled, lightning illuminating Jess's body. He stared in awe, drinking in her exquisite form. Veins ran cross her porcelain skin, creating a map across her body. Nick traced them with his fingertips, gliding carefully across the milky canvas before him.

She grabbed his neck, her fingers grasping at wisps of hair that curled slightly at the nape of his neck and pulled him to her. Her mouth devoured his, happy to be reunited after all these years. Her hands were shaking as she undid his belt, but eagerly tugged his pants off. She started to unbutton his shirt, becoming more impatient with each button angry at the cloth between them. He chuckled and pulled the shirt over his head. Her hands glided down his now bare chest, her fingernails lightly grazing his tan flesh. Her fingers danced down his back, sending a shiver down his spine.

He pulled back, the sweet taste of Jess's lips still lingering on his tongue. Jess's brow furrowed, her body pouting, begging for more of Nick's touch. "Is everything ok?" She asked, her voice smoky and deep.

His heart beat wildly, not out of fear but what his body wanted. "I've missed you." He replied, pressing his lips against hers once more.

She brushed her lips across his neck, her warm breath sending chills down his spine. Her mouth worked it's way up to his ear lobe, nibbling softly before moving down to his collar bone, setting his skin ablaze where her lips touched.

His hands slid down, pushing her skirt up and slipping her lace underwear down over her hips. Her legs opened eagerly, giving him access to what he wanted. His hands grazed up the fleshy landscape of her thigh, sending a breathless moan escaping from Jess's lips.

His head spun, thinking of what their bodies are doing. He cough a glimpse of her dress bag hanging in the corner, a haunting reminder that just a few hours ago she belonged to someone else. Nick suddenly felt guilty, boundaries were being crossed, scratch that, they were downright erasing them. Nick's hands slowed, unsure of how they would feel about this in the morning.

"Get out of your head." Jess moaned, pulling his hands back up under her skirt. He smiled, delighted that Jess knew him so well.

She tugs at his boxers, her fingers dipping below the waist band of his boxers. He pauses for a second, his eyes meeting hers. "are you sure?"

She nods, suddenly becoming bashful.

"You're really sure? It's not just the wine making you feel twirly?"

"MILLER!" She grunts.

He slips his boxers off, and lines himself up. In one effortless motion he pushes, until his hips are flush against hers. As her legs spiral around his waist, pulling him even closer, Nick lets his mind cloud over. Their bodies began the familiar, rhythmic dance, moving in perfect sync. He had dreamed about this for some time, his body only complete when intertwined with hers. He had missed this. He had missed her. As he gave one last thrust, collapsing in pleasure he smiled. He was finally home.


	16. Chapter 16

JESSICA!"

Jess rolled over, groggily rubbing her eyes. She glanced at the alarm clock. "7:52 AM". She shook her head. "I must be hearing things" she muttered.

"Whaaaa. . . what is going on?" Nick yawned. He rolled over, nuzzling her neck.

Just then Jess heard it again. "JESSICA!"

Nick furrowed his brows. "Is that someone yelling your name?"

"What in the. . . ." She slipped on a pink cotton robe and walked over to the window. She peered out to see what the commotion was and saw Royce standing on the sidewalk below, peering up at her window. He saw her, and began to wave furiously, a smile spreading across his face.

"Jess! Jessica!" He called.

Jess sighed opening the window. "It's eight a.m. on a Saturday Royce! My neighbors are going to kill you."

"I don't care! Jessica I am so sorry. I made a mistake!" Royce called.

Jess began to shut the window, but Royce began to scream. "Jess! No! Please Jess just listen! I don't want to give up. Jess, I'm crazy about you. I love you, I may be bad at showing it, but I do. I love you and Josie. Please Jess, I just need my girls."

Mr. Romano, Jess's stout, hot tempered neighbor opened his window. "SHUT UP!" He yelled, swearing loudly.

Royce paced on the sidewalk. "Can you buzz me up Jess?"

"Royce, I need to think about things." Jess called. "the things that you said. . . the way that you. . . "

Royce's smile broke. He took a deep breath, regaining his composure. "Do you think that ten hours is enough time to think it over?"

Jess scrunched her face up, confused. "ten hours?"

"Our wedding is in ten hours. That is . . . if you'll still marry me?"

Nick lie in bed, listening to the conversation his lungs feeling as if they were encased in concrete, struggling to catch his breath. His euphoria from the night before drained, and familiar heartbreak settled in. He hated Royce's apology. He hated how Royce called Jess and Josie 'his ladies'. He hated that he could hear uncertainty in Jess's voice, her heart torn between he and Royce. But most of all, he hated what he knew he had to do.

Mr. Romano stuck his head out. "HEY ONE DIRECTION! IF I BUZZ YOU IN WILL YOU STOP CRYING AND SHUT UP?"

Royce's smile reappeared, stretching from ear to ear. "buzz me up Mr. Romano!" He ran to the front door, and Jess slammed the window shut.

"he's coming up! What do I do?" Jess shrieked, panicking.

Nick stared down at the sheet, unable to look Jess in the eye. "Marry him."

Jess glared at Nick. "Marry him!? What am I supposed to do? Walk down the aisle, "hey Royce like my bouquet? It's made of peonies and LIES!"

Nick placed his hands on Jess's shoulders. "Listen to me Jess. I love you. I always have, and I always will. But I'm not good for you. Royce is so much better for you, for Josie. He's doing what I should have done. He came back for you."

The color drained from Jess's face, her eyes wide as she digested what Nick was saying. "Nicholas Miller you have lost your mind. You. . .Me. . . We. . . "

"We're toxic Jess. You said so yourself. So, go out there and fix this. Don't let me ruin your life. Again."

Jess could feel tears starting to form, fighting to escape from her wide, luminous eyes. "Nick. . . I love you. . . we can. . . "

Nick shook his head. "no." He looked away, unable to see the quiver of her lip, the heave of her shoulders, knowing that he had caused her pain.

Royce knocked on the door, calling out. "Jess it's me! Please open up."

Nick drew in a deep breath, trying not to fall apart in front of Jess. He turned to face her. He wiped a tear that slid down her cheek, his fingertips soaking in what he was sure was the last time he'd ever touch her. "Go get him. Be happy."

Jess nodded, her lip stuck out. "We're not done. As soon as he leaves we need to talk."

Nick opened the bedroom door, as Royce pleaded and knocked. "I'll be here waiting." Jess sulked out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Nick pressed his ear against the door, listening intently.

Royce's breaths were ragged, he had ran the whole six floors. " Jessica please just listen to me. Let's work on this. I know I was a jerk to you. I was upset and wasn't thinking clearly."

"Royce, I don't think getting married is the right answer. I mean you broke up with me last night and I. . . " She trailed off, unable to admit that she had slept with Nick.

"But Jess it was just cold feet. I know I have been a big baby about Nick, but I realized it's because I was jealous. He and you shared a bond that we could never have. You have a child together. There will always be a piece of him with you."

Jess voice cracked. Nick could hear the strain in her voice, she was holding back tears. "That's just it Royce. As long as Nick is here, it's not going to work. He and I are always going to have that bond, He's always going to have a piece of my heart. He's always going to be there, and that's not fair to you."

Hearing this, Nick knew he was making the right decision. For the first year or so after he left Jess all those years ago, Nick found himself seeking refuge in the library. The smell of books, their crisp pages and tattered spines reminding him of Jess. Some days he would work on the Pepperwood Chronicles, but most days he would escape into the endless maze of books, dragging his fingers gently across the neat rows. One day he began to read a book, a tragic tale of lost love. The last line had stuck with him, hauntingly beautiful. _"and he loved her, so he let her go."_ He thought about this as he slipped on his clothes, cramming his tie into his pocket. He opened the window and climbed out onto the fire escape. He took one last look in the room, sighing softly. Tears loomed heavily on his lashes, threatening to fall. As he climbed down the fire escape, he repeated the same words over and over in his mind. "I love you Jess, so I'm letting you go."


	17. Chapter 17

-six years ago -

Jess stared blankly at the vintage white wedding dress, hung haphazardly on the back of her bedroom door. It was simple, tea length, with lace cap sleeves. She had fell in love with a long, ivory, frothy frock, with lace sleeves and a high collar, but she and Nick's budget hadn't allowed it. She could tell that it bothered Nick that she couldn't buy her dream dress, but she had just smiled. "as long as I get to marry you, I don't care what I wear." He had smiled coyly and stuffed his hands in his pocket in the awkward Nick Miller way that he always did. She dug the box out of her top drawer where she had hidden it from Nick. She opened her bedroom door, avoiding looking at the wedding dress again. She made sure the coast was clear and scurried to the bathroom. She ran the scenarios through her head one more time, hating herself for getting into this position. They could barely make ends meet, fighting to keep the two of them afloat, and she was almost certain that she was growing yet another person to worry about. She took a deep breath, and opened the box. "Here goes nothing."

She glanced nervously from her phone to the test sitting on the sink, the minutes of the timer ticking away like a time bomb. She had always dreamed of being a mom, a sweet little baby with a squishy and plump Nick Miller turtle face always appearing in her dreams. When she thought about it, she was giddy and elated. Now, now that it was real, her period late, all the signs indicating what she already knew, she was petrified. The timer rang loudly, making Jess jump. She reached out for the test, but her hand refused to grasp the white plastic stick. Reading the test, seeing it in real life, would make it all too real. She and Nick were getting married in a week. Seven days. Nick was out, with Schmidt, Winston, and her dad getting the final fitting of their suits, a splurge her parents had insisted on. She couldn't be pregnant, but she knew she was. She closed her eyes tight and picked up the test. She opened them and a tear slipped down her cheek, landing square on two pink, parallel lines.

…

Nick stared blankly at his reflection, the suit itchy and constricting. The tailor pinned the hem of his pants, working quiet and methodically. Nick tugged at his collar. "Is it too tight Mr. Miller?" The tailor asked.

Nick shook his head. "Just not a suit kind of guy."

"Ah but this is the suit for the not a suit kind of guy. Very comfortable." The tailor hummed as he pushed another pin in.

Nick chuckled softly. "how much did Schmidt pay you to say that?"

Schmidt stepped out from the dressing room. "I have you know Nicholas, I can hear everything from in there. I did not pay him to say that. Do you really think I'd choose poplin?! Look what it does to my hip and thigh area! I look like Schmidty from the block!"

"Aw it's alright Schmidty, my love don't cost a thing." Nick laughed, quoting the old Jennifer Lopez song.

Schmidt rolled his eyes. "You will look perfect next to Jess in her dress. She really looks beautiful in ecru. "

Nick's face scrunched up. "Ecru?"

Schmidt sighed. "Ecru, Nick, ecru !You know the color that was voted the hottest shade of vintage weddings?"

Nick plugged his fingers in his ears. "SCHMIDT! NO! I don't want to know about Jess's dress! It's bad luck!"

"Nick, the superstition is that you're not supposed to see the dress. And it's just that. A superstition." Schmidt exasperated.

Nick glared at Schmidt from the mirror. "LA LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA! GO SPREAD YOUR BAD LUCK SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

Bob walked out of the other dressing room. "Real mature. To think you're getting married in a week."

Nick instantly pulled his fingers from his ears, flustered. Nick had been on eggshells around Bob since he had proposed, Bob making it very known that nobody was good enough for his baby girl. "Bob. . . . . . I . . . "

Bob held up a hand. "Save it Rick." He studied his reflection in the mirror. "So, this is the suit you chose huh? I feel like I'm headed to a yacht party."

"I didn't really care either way, but if it helps any Jess loved it. She likes that the tan makes it less formal."

Bob turned around studying the back of it. "Huh. I always thought my Jessie girl would go all out."

Truth be told, Jess had tried to convince Nick for the past week to just run off to City Hall and elope. Jess hadn't been feeling well, and the last-minute stress was only making things worse. Nick always refused. As much as he loved Jess and wanted to marry her, he wanted to do things right, to give her the wedding she deserved.

The tailor cleared his throat. "You're all done Mr. Miller. Just be careful of the pins when you change."

Nick thanked him and walked carefully into the dressing room. He began to change when he heard Bob and the tailor talking. Schmidt was right, you could hear everything from the dressing room.

"He didn't really care either way. Kids these days I'm tellin you." Bob jeered. "Honestly, he doesn't really care about anything. Can't believe my daughter chose him. "

Nick heard the tailor mumble something he couldn't quite make out. This really set Bob off. "He works at a bar. A bar! He's going to support a family like that? Is my baby supposed to just hang out at home taking care of the kids every night while he's 'working' at the bar? Jess was my one. My other daughter, Abby, she's a mess but not my Jess. My best friend Ray had a boy, he would have been a good fit. No, she chose this joker, who always screws it up and she has to go around fixing it. He's a bum Tom, a Bum!"

Nick had heard enough. He quietly slipped off the suit and hung it carefully on the hanger marked with his name. He got dressed, and slipped out of the tux shop, without a word.

…

Nick downed the last of his gin and tonic, the liquid leaving a biting residual flavor as it slid down his throat. "you know, I always said gin tasted like Christmas trees." He said to the man on the stool next to him, who by the look of his face, was not amused with Nick's drunken confession.

"Liquid Christmas trees!" Nick cheered.

"there you are Nicholas!" Schmidt called.

Nick glanced over at Schmidt. "uh oh, Schmidty's got the mom hand! What? Am I grounded?"

"Do you have any clue what time it is?" Schmidt glowered, his hand planted firm on his hip.

Nick smiled and flagged down the bartender. "Another round!"

Schmidt put his hand in front of Nick's. He glanced at the bartender. "No, I think he's had enough."

Nick blew a raspberry at Schmidt. "you're no fun!"

"Nick you're drunk."

"I am not. I'm just taking a vacation from my thoughts."

Schmidt pursed his lips tight. "What exactly do you need to escape from?"

Nick ran his finger around the rim of his glass, his gleeful expression turning somber. "Schmidt do you think I'm a bum?"

"Well you owe me six hundred and fifty dollars right now, plus a box of Thin Mints when the Girl Scouts come back into town, so I'm not the best judge of character."

Nick looked up at him, his eyes clouded by doubt and alcohol. "Be real Schmidt."

Schmidt sat down next to him. "What's going on? Where did this come from?"

"I'm getting married in a week. One week! I'll have a wife in a week. Do you know what's next after a wife? Kids. How am I supposed to have kids Schmidt? I don't eat vegetables, or brush my teeth, or make my bed or any of that stuff that parents nag their kids to do."

"you brush your teeth."

Nick shook his head. "Yeah, with batman toothpaste."

"It's just a case of cold feet." Schmidt chuckled. "that's why you have Jess. She can nag them for you. "

"How am I going to pay for a kid? Or buy Jess a house? What if our kids have jacked up teeth like Aunt Millie and need extensive orthodontia?"

"You have time Nick. It's not like Jess is pregnant right now. You build up to it. You save. You pray that nobody has to suffer like Aunt Millie did."

Nick put his head in his hands. "Save? Schmidt, I work at a bar. Jess is a teacher. Our idea of a date is splitting a pack of Top Ramen and watching the neighbors across the street fight."

"It's not like you're going to work at the bar forever. Once you settle down, get a different job, it will all be easier."

He looked up at Schmidt. "What if the bar _is_ forever. "

Schmidt's eyes widened. "you dream of working at the bar forever? You don't ever think of doing anything else?"

Nick bit his bottom lip, hesitating. "I _am_ writing a book."

Schmidt shook his head. "No, no I've read Z for Zombie. Don't quit your bar job."

"Jess deserves so much better than me."

"Nick, Jess loves you. She would love you if you were a bartender or a millionaire book author. We'll get you a job, with insurance and PTO. . . "

Nick rolled his eyes. "I'm not working at a school!"

Schmidt sighed. "that's PTA! What I'm saying is, you may have dreamed of working at a bar, but you're about to be a husband. You're going to be a dad someday. Do you think Jess likes running detention? Or hosting that parent teacher breakfast every month? She does that to build her bank account and connections. She does that to help make a better life. You've got to make some sacrifices and start taking some responsibilities. Nick, if you don't like the way the future is looking, change it."

Nick digested Schmidt's words slowly, nodding. He patted Schmidt on the shoulder, throwing money down for the bill. "It was a nice talk Schmidt, I'll see you later."

Schmidt stood up. "you can't drive like this!"

Nick shook his head. "Already called a taxi. Bye Schmidt, See ya later." and then he strolled out the door.

…

Nick fumbled with the keys, trying to unlock the door. He started to turn the knob when the door opened. Jess stood there, in his oversized Chicago Cubs t shirt, a sour look painted across her face.

Nick winked at her. "You know it drives me crazy when you wear that shirt."

"Nicholas Sean Miller do you know what time it is?" Jess said, scowling.

Nick brushed her off. "Why does everyone sound like my mom tonight?!"

Jess's eyes widened, taken aback by his comment. "Like your mom? Nick I was worried sick. You should have been home hours ago."

Nick sat down, taking off his shoes. "I had to stop by the office."

"Is this some kind of joke to you?

"Am I laughing?" Nick asked as he sat down to untie his shoe.

"Why are you being a douche? I have something really important to tell you, and I've waited up for you all night."

"You should of just went to bed."

"You should have called."

Nick stood up, stretching. He glared at Jess, annoyed."Why are you being such a ball buster?"

Nick's words made Jess livid. "A ball buster? What is going on Nick? You leave the tux store without even a goodbye to my dad, _who is paying for your suit,_ and then you go to a bar FOR HOURS and come home drunk and angry! You're so irresponsible!"

"Again, with the responsibility card! Yadda yadda. C'mon Jess, do you really think that I'll ever be responsible?"

"I WISH YOU WOULD!" She screamed. "I'M TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THE RESPONSIBLE ONE! I'M TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF YOU, WITH NOTHING IN RETURN! SOMETIMES IT.. . IT JUST SUCKS!"

Nick shook his head, the intoxicating effects of the alcohol making him carefree. His voice echoed throughout the loft "If you're so tired of me why are you even with me? Why do you always take care of me? If I'm such a problem, why do you stick around? So, you can be the martyr? Poor little Jess, look how great she is. Taking care of that mess of a man."

Nick could instantly see the hurt in Jess's eyes, he knew that he had gone too far, pushed her too much. She sucked in her breath, closing her eyes for a minute. She silently walked up to him, her face mere inches away from his. Her voice was low, and eerily calm "You want to know why? Why I stick around? Why I take care of you? I'll tell you you care about someone you do what's best for them, even if it sucks for you." She walked into the bedroom and slammed the door.

…

-Present day-

Nick lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep was always the hardest for him. He could survive in the hubbub of everyday life, people passing by, going through the motions. Sleep however, was hard. The quiet, the stillness, let him be alone in his mind. Countless nights he would awake in bed, dripping in sweat, grasping at the empty bed next to him. His dreams always took him to the last time he had saw Jess, six years ago. Her eyes puffy, her face tear stained, sleeping fitfully. He had wanted to brush the stray strand of hair that was falling into her face but was afraid that he would wake her. He had foolishly scribbled that note and walked out of her life. Now here he was, history had repeat itself. He had tried to tell himself that her heart belonged to someone else, that she had moved on, but it didn't make it any easier. He rolled over and groaned into his pillow, fighting for sleep but not succeeding. He got up, throwing on his old red flannel and jeans, and grabbed his car keys.

…

Jess stared blankly at her wedding dress, hanging on the back of the door. Once again here she was, staring at her dress, bigger things on her mind then her impending wedding. Once again, her heart ached, broken by Nick. She laughed at the irony, her life going full circle in the six years since Nick had left. She glared at the dress, tears falling softly down her cheek. Luna had nailed Nick's vision. The ivory sheath had a high neck and long sleeves, but was filled with soft lace, keeping it demure, yet sexy. The skirt was a true mermaid cut, fitted throughout the hips, tapering down before flaring out at the bottom. She wiped her eyes, tired of crying. She had cried earlier, dry sobs racking her body, expressing the pain of Nick leaving once again. There was no time for crying now. Cece opened Jess's bedroom door, breaking Jess from her trance. "Jess, are you sure you want to do this?"

Jess nodded. "I do. It's what's best for me. For Josie."

Cece sighed. "well let's get you ready then. You can't have a wedding without a bride."

Jess faked a smile and drew in a deep breath. "here goes nothing."


	18. Chapter 18

The church loomed before him, it's beauty a stark contrast to the decaying building he always envisioned. It was not some tiny chapel, cheap and Vegas-esque. It was grand, Norman arches and Victorian splendor, colorful mosaics of stained glass filling the high arched windows. Nick swallowed hard, his pulse pounding in his head. He walked up the steps, entering the old building.

"Can I help you sir?" A man in a clergy robe greeted him.

Nick's palms started to sweat. Ever since he had been a mischievous little boy, a man of the cloth always made him nervous. "I. . . uh. . . I'm here to see Jess. Jessica. The bride?"

The man glanced at Nick, his worn jeans and faded flannel sticking out like a sore thumb in the elaborate church. "She's getting ready. The wedding doesn't start for another hour. . . "

"Oh I can't make it to the wedding. I'm just here to drop something off to her. . . .and our daughter. I'm Josie's father. I just want to give her something" Nick lied, praying that he wouldn't burst into flames for lying in a church.

The man's face lightened up. "Aw Josie! She's something else I tell ya!"

Nick smiled. "Yeah, she's pretty special."

The man ushered Nick to the hall. "Right this way. Swing a left, and her bridal suite is the first door on the right."

Nick shook his hand. "thank you."

Nick could hear Jess singing as he rounded the corner. "Goin. . .to the chapel. . and we're gonna get. . . "

He opened the door slightly. She was singing to herself in the mirror, looking absolutely breathtaking. The lace spiraled delicately down her thin arms, the high neck balanced by the low front of lace. the silk gazar material hugged her body just enough, pulling slightly at her hips. His mind wondered back to last night, his hands fitting perfectly on her hips, pulling her closer and closer.

"You look beautiful." He muttered out loud.

Jess stopped singing, frozen. She turned around slowly. "you have a lot of nerve coming here."

He held up his hands in surrender. "I know. You can hate me Jess, you deserve to hate me. I hate myself. But I know if I left without saying goodbye again, I'd hate myself even more."

"I'm not going to feel sorry for you." She pursed her lips tight.

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me."

Jess stared at him blankly, so many words running through her mind, none of them unable to form on her lips.

Nick was speechless as well. He had no words, just an empty, gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Can I. . . Can I tell Josie goodbye?"

"No you cannot!" Jess snapped, crossing her arms in front of her protectively.

"Jess that's not fair!"

Jess's face scrunched up, appalled. "Not fair? It's not fair that we were doing just fine, and then you showed up and ruined it all. It's not fair that I have to tell our daughter, that the dad she just met is now gone from her life again. It's not fair that you came in here, and made me fall in love with you all over again. . ."

Jess's words made Nick's heart skip a beat. "You love me?"

Jess nodded. She closed her eyes tight, trying to hold in the fresh tears.

Nick smiled. "I didn't have to fall in love with you again because I never stopped loving you."

Jess stabbed a finger into Nick's chest. "Stop! You want to marry me, and then you leave. You come back, want to be a family, you SLEEP WITH ME, and then you leave. You practically push me back into Royce's arms, and now here you are, telling me you never stopped loving you. You're giving me whiplash Nick! I'm starting to feel like I'm in a Katy Perry song!"

Nick smiled slightly. "I always did say if there were a movie made about your life, Katy Perry should play you."

Jess rolled her eyes.

"I guess this is goodbye." Nick glanced at Jess, waiting for her to stop him, to cling to him like she had last night, to tell him that he wasn't ruining her life, to ask him to stay. She remained frozen, not saying a single word.

Nick walked over and softly kissed the top of her head. "Goodbye Jess."

…

"Jess? Jess are you in here?" Cece called, pounding on the bathroom stall. "Jess open the door I can see your dress under the stall."

Jess opened the door slowly, revealing her tear stained face.

Cece gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. "Jess! What's wrong?"

She dabbed her eye with a wad of toilet paper, adjusting her makeup that the tears had smeared. "Nick."

Cece enveloped Jess in a hug, Jess's tears staining the lapis chiffon material of Cece's bridesmaid dress. "Oh Jess, I knew you were getting too close."

"Why do I love him Cece? Why am I so crazy? Why does my heart want something that hurts me so much?" Jess bawled.

Cece pulled back, taking some more toilet paper from the dispenser and wiped away a stray tear from Jess's face. "He was your first love. He introduced you to everything, he made you love him, he loved you back. No matter how hurt you are, you'll always love him. Always. A piece of him will always be with you. You'll hear "your" song, or you'll pass by a place that was important to the both of you or see someone wearing a shirt that he used to wear, and you're going to be reminded of him. You can either relieve the pain of losing him over and over, or just smile, remember what you had, and move on. You're always going to love Nick, but that doesn't mean you can't love Royce too."

Just then, the pastor knocked on the bathroom door. "Ladies? Sorry to interrupt, but it's time for the wedding to begin."

Jess sniffled, giving her eyes one last dab with the tissue. "We'll be right out."

…

"Places! Places everyone!" Schmidt called, the disorder of the wedding party giving him anxiety. "Ok, we have the bride, Bridesmaids, where's the flower girl? " He turned to Jess. "Jess? Where's Josie?"

Jess sighed. "She's probably still in there reading." She walked over to the door. "Josie! Josie, come on out!"

Everyone watched the door, waiting for it to open but it never did. Jess could hear Pachelbel's "Canon in D" playing softly, signaling to the bridal party to start walking. Jess knocked. "Josie, c'mon the weddings starting. Stop playing." Jess pushed the door open, to find an empty suite. The color drained from Jess's face. "SHE'S NOT IN HERE!"

"She probably fell asleep reading somewhere." Schmidt exclaimed. "Josie? Josie!" He called out.

Jess's heart sank. "JOSIE!" She yelled.

Aly gave Cece a worried glance. "I'll go get Winston. You go check the bathrooms."

Jess nodded, nervously ringing her hands together, unsure of what to do.

Cece rubbed Jess's back. "Stay here in case Josie comes this way."

Winston bust through the double doors that led to the sanctuary. Royce hot on his heels, stalking down the aisle. Jess ran to Royce and started to hug him. He stopped her, holding her at arm's length. "Jessica! What's the hold up? We have guest waiting!"

"We can't find Josie!" Jess exclaimed, tears perched at the corner of her eye, threatening to fall.

Royce sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. "Is that all?"

Jess stepped back from him, in utter shock at his words. "Is that all? Did you not hear me? Royce, my daughter is MISSING!"

"Oh Jessica, she's just manipulating you! That's what she does."

Jess was shocked."She's manipulating me?"

"Jess you give in to her every whim. It's very clear that she doesn't want this wedding to happen. She's merely stalling, hoping it won't happen."

"She's not interfering with our wedding. Josie wouldn't do that." She shook her head.

Royce placed his hand on Jess's shoulder. "Let's just start the wedding, I'm sure she'll pop out of somewhere."

Jess pushed his hand off of her. "You want me to start the wedding while my daughter is missing?!"

Jess could see the anger building in Royce's eyes. He patted at the sweat that was beading at his brow. "This is our wedding day! Why must the attention be on Josie? It's always Josie, Josie, Josie!"

"SHE'S MY DAUGHTER ROYCE!"

Royce's face boiled bright red. "THAT LITTLE BRAT! I SWEAR ONCE WE'RE MARRIED WE SHOULD JUST SHIP HER OFF TO LIVE WITH THAT HALF WIT, NICK!"

Jess's mouth gaped open, her eyes bulging.

Royce immediately tried to save face. "Jess, baby that's not what I mean. I just think. . ."

Jess pushed away from him. "Now I know why Josie doesn't want this wedding to happen. Royce, I try to look past it, but you're a grade A douche! I deserve so much better than you! I can't believe I almost married you!"

Royce cracked a cocky smile. "Jessica, listen to yourself. You're a woman in her thirties, with a entitled know it all little brat for a kid. Your still in love with your loser baby daddy, who left her the moment he made it big. You deserve better than me? Please, I'm doing you a favor."

Winston tapped Royce on the shoulder. Royce turned around, to see Winston holding his phone up. "Two things Royce. One, say "hi" because I'm currently live streaming this to the whole sanctuary. That's right, everyone out there heard your little speech you just made. Two, I think everyone agrees that you deserve this." He pulled his right fist back, gaining momentum before he lunged toward Royce, making contact with his face.

…

Nick flew down the highway, smashing the accelerator as far as it would go. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he had to go far, far away from Jess. The only way he could help her have the life he knew she deserved was to stay away from her. To stay away from her he had to be far, far away. He couldn't be in close proximity to her, and not crave her touch, her kiss, her love. He anxiously flipped through the radio, every song reminding him of Jess and Josie. He stabbed the button of the radio turning it off, filling the car with deafening silence.

Nick heard rustling in the back of his SUV. Nick looked back in his rear view mirror, the sun reflecting off something sparkly sending rainbows cascading across the gray interior. He turned his head, straining to see what was in the back seat, catching a glimpse of blue tulle. "What the. . . . "

Josie popped up from the floor board, adjusting the bejeweled floral crown that encircled her head. She smiled at him in the mirror, a crooked smile, upturning ever so slightly more on one side than the other, a smile like his. "Hi dad."


	19. Chapter 19

"Ok. Yeah, she's right here Jess." Nick said into the phone, glancing at Josie. "Mmmhmm. Don't worry, she's safe. We'll head back now. See you in twenty."

"You're leaving us again, aren't you?" Josie asked, as Nick hung up the phone.

Nick buckled his seat belt. "I'm doing what's best for you and your mom."

Josie rolled her eyes. "No, you're not. Your running because your scared."

Nick sighed. "I'm not scared. Josie, it's like this. Your mom is this beautiful, sweet, smart incredibly talented, amazing woman, and I'm . . . well I'm me. We're too different. Getting back together with your mom is just setting us all up for heartbreak."

"Why do you think you're so bad? You're incredible." Josie replied.

Nick smiled slightly. "You think I'm incredible?"

Josie nodded. "Look dad. I've watched a lot of . You're harboring a lot of self-directed aggression, and you manifest a negative outlook on yourself. Having such intense negative feelings can cause strain on your heart, lungs, and brain. Not to mention the fact that you use alcohol as a coping mechanism which can cause serious. . . "

"You're really too smart for your own good you know that?"

"What I'm trying to say is you're your own worst enemy. Your too hard on yourself. Mom would have dropped Royce in a heartbeat if you said you still loved her."

"Josie, it's not that simple. Adult stuff is complicated."

Josie sighed. She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. "ONLY BECAUSE YOUR MAKING IT COMPLICATED! Did mom ever tell you about Robbie DelMonico?"

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Whose Robbie DelMonico?"

Josie smiled. "He's the first boy I ever kissed."

Nick's eyes widened. "You're not allowed to date until you're married."

Josie rolled her eyes. "We were in preschool. Robbie was so cool, his favorite dinosaur was a velociraptor just like me, and he could read Dr. Suess like a pro. I really liked him, so one day on the playground, I marched right up to the jungle gym where he was hanging upside down and kissed him. Just planted one square on his lips. I didn't think about it, I didn't use my head, I just did what my heart told me to do. It was totally irrational, but that's what love is. It's irrational, it's abstract, it's scary. "

Nick started up the car and turned to Josie. "How are you so smart?"

Josie smiled. "I'm your daughter."

…

"JOSIE!" Jess called, running to the SUV. Her wedding dress dragged across the sidewalk, the hem turning a slight gray shade.

Josie ran to her hugging her tight. "I'm sorry I scared you mom."

Jess smoothed Josie's hair. "We're going to talk about that but right now I'm just glad your safe."

Nick walked around the SUV, slowly approaching Jess and Josie. Nick glanced at Josie. "Hey Joze, could you give your mom and I a minute?"

Josie nodded. "I should probably go apologize to everyone."

Jess smiled slightly. "Schmidt, Winston, Aly, and Cece are inside. Don't go running off though!"

"I won't!" Josie called as she ran into the church.

"Hey." Jess said softly.

Nick bit his lip, fidgeting nervously with his keys. "hey."

"thanks for bringing her back. I don't know what got into her, she's never done anything like this before." Jess said, rubbing her arm, absentmindedly.

Nick nodded. "Of course, no problem. Where's Royce?"

Jess stared meekly at the ground. "He left a while ago, with a busted lip and a bruised ego."

Nick arched his eyebrow. "sorry I missed that."

Jess shot him a look.

He took a deep breath. "about us. . . "

Jess felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. "Nick don't."

"I love you." Nick blurted out.

Jess frowned. "Nick this isn't fair."

Nick rubbed his chin with his hand. "I do Jess! I can't help it! I'm in love with you. I loved you from the moment I met you. Coming back here made me realize that I never stopped loving you. Jess, I want us to be together. "

Jess couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Nick do you hear yourself? You've left me two times! If you love me so much, how do you explain that? I had to pick my self up piece by piece. Just when I thought I was whole, you broke me all over again! It's not fair Nick! If you love me so much, why would you hurt me? If you love me so much why would you leave? Why would you"

"I'M AFRAID!" Nick shouted.

"Afraid?" Jess looked up, confused.

Nick glanced at Jess solemnly. "I'm afraid you're going to wake up one day and change your mind. I'm not perfect. I'm actually pretty far from perfect. I can't give you everything, and you deserve everything Jess. I've never been good at relationships. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, but what we have. . . Jess, it's real. It feels like something I've never felt before. When I came back, I wasn't sure what I was looking for. But as soon as I saw you, I knew. I knew what I was missing. It was you. Jess, it's always been you."

Jess covered her mouth with her hand, Nick's words making her heart race.

Nick ran his hands through his hair. " You know when you're listening to music playing from another room? Your singing along, belting out all the words because it's a song you really love? When a door closes or a train passes and you can't hear the music anymore, but you still sing along? Then no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again, you're still in exact same time with it. That's us Jess. No matter how much space, or people, or years we put between us, when we meet up, we're in exact time with each other."

"Oh Nick." Jess said, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Nick wrapped his arms around Jess's waist, pulling her close. "Jess, I can't promise you stability, or that I won't break your heart, but I love you, and I want to try my hardest to make this work."

Jess moved her head closer to Nick's. His smell was flooding her senses, her lips ached to meet his. She pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around his thick, strong neck. Their lips met, the tension around them melting away. Nick weaved his hands through her hair, pulling her closer and closer, until there was no space between them.

"WOOOOOOO!" Schmidt, Winston, Cece, Aly, and Josie cheered from the steps of the church, breaking them from their kiss.

Nick leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers. "It's you. It's always been you."

THE END.


End file.
